How much money would it take to change your life?

I think as a nation, we're obsessed with the concept of more.

Most people could use ''more'' money, ''more'' time or ''more'' stuff  in their life.

But last year, I realized that it doesn't take much to really ''change'' your life.

My life was forever changed when my husband gave me $10,000 to start ''a business''. I didn't have a plan, just a shared vision. We envisioned having a family owned business that provided enough income for us to both work there and to create good paying jobs within the Black community.

Today

Today is January 5, 2015

Today I really miss journaling and blogging. For me, journaling is more personal and hand written in a book using a pencil. Blogging is visual. It's words and pictures completing a thought.

Today I decided that I'm taking this blog on my journey to reboot my life. A return to all the things I love and that make me happy.

A return to my solitary lifestyle that I find quite peaceful and fulfilling.

I'm still a Muslim wife and mother, who is a writer, entrepreneur and radio show host who likes to cook, sew and create. I still love to laugh daily and read novels about people who I'd love to meet if they were real. I still have the attention span of a gnat and switch focus often but like a homing pigeon I always come back to those people and things that I love the most.

I missed you dear blog and blog readers. I hope to reconnect and meet more of you this year through the web.

Time...

My mother in laws passing and a business disappointment have made me take a long look at time and timing.

I had discussed with her my plans to return to college and at 43 I know that it's past time and a bit overdue. (she got her first degree at 50 and then 2 masters degrees)

I've also had to think realistically about a second child. I know that I could physically handle it, but am I willing to do what it takes organizationally. A child can't be my motivation to organize my life. I have to want that for my own peace of mind.

A few weeks before my mother in laws transition we were told that the station our radio program airs on was changing from an old school R&B format to comedy. Again I realized how much I was relying on the unreliable whims of people who live in another part of the country. I've had to step up really fast and do some quick research into ways that we can control our own product better. More to come on the details, but time dictated that I move quickly and decisively and it was made painfully clear that my current mode of operation had to change.

Time waits for no man and when our time on this side is up, it is indeed over.

I want to spend more time with my sister and cousins and I want to do more writing for pleasure and publishing.

It's time for me to have more fun, return to school, get my house in order, get  to baby making and put my business on the fast track so we we don't lose momentum.

It's time...

I'm not investing more than you

"I'm not investing more than you." - That has become my mantra.

I'm watching a lot of situations go down in other peoples lives that really have to do with over-investment of time, resources and emotion.

Without getting into folks business I'll share a few altered examples:


Workers do WORK

A friend mentioned that they'd like to start a new business with someone who shares a similar passion for sewing. Friend A has owned and operated a business and has a business degree and is self employed. Friend B has held 10 jobs in the 10 years they've been friends and answers calls only when she feels like it or needs something.

Just because they share a passion doesn't mean they have a shared work ethic and will do well together in business.

Me? I'd leave them alone and keep looking.


I won't cosign for credit or favors


I hate it when people ask you to use your connections and relationships to get them into a job, camp, program, school, etc BEFORE THEY EVEN TRY ON THIER OWN!

Once a person asked me to call one of my professional contacts to see if they had an inside line in on the hiring for a particular position. I called, my contact asked for the friends name and I gave it. Two days later the business contact calls back saying they can't find the application.

I call my person back and they HAVEN'T EVEN APPLIED YET! Ugh!

Life and time are too precious and short for me to waste on other peoples ideas and hopes that they won't work for themselves.

Friday Ramblings

1. I am so proud of me for being "myself" more and more.

2. Try your best and eff the rest.

3. He loves me, so you can kick rocks with open toe shoes.

4. Ready to sew.

5. Procrastination is my nemesis.

6. I am so grateful for my super-duper awesome daughter.

7. I need to see a dentist.

8. Only I can create the peaceful environment that I crave.

9. It feels good to have electricity, lights, heat and internet access. I've been without one of those at some point in the last 3 years and it sucked, immensely.

10. My idea of "fast food" is homemade food that I prepared that can be thawed and warmed up without me cooking.
(pictured: navy bean soup, basil pesto and the ever present halal cheese, butter and coffee)

11. I am so oblivious to "holiday's". Veteran's Day observed on Friday? WTH??? That's a huge business day for me!

Randonmess...but it's all good!

So I'm on crutches again. I'm suffering from "insanity", you know...doing that same thing expecting different results LOL

I have REFUSED to stretch. I haven't touched my toes since about 4th or 5th grade. For real! I have been in a marching band, drill teams, ran/jogged, done everything except really stretch. The only time I did was when I did yoga a couple summers ago and I think I grew an inch! Literally. So I guess I'm going back there because I keep straining my muscles. I have chronic muscle fatigue (self diagnosed) from my muscles being too tight in my legs.

Do yourself a favor...and stretch right now!

On to Ramadan:

Here's a pic of the awesome whistle my husband made for Babygirl.

He whittled it and carved a flamingo (her favorite bird) on it! So cute! Now I have to step my craft game up to make a neat Eid gift. No pressure or competition between parents right? Ha! LOL It's been about a year since I took on a major sewing project. So we'll see what I can do.

And here's Friday's harvest:

One cucumber, 3 bell peppers and a cup of basil

What I know for sure...

It is AWESOME to have friends who accept you just as you are.

Everyone woman needs an indulgence (or three) that she affords herself as often as possible.

Me time is not a selfish act.

You get, EVERY time you give.

There are some incredibly talented smart, beautiful and ageless sisters in The Nation.

Children need extended family.

Adults need extended family.

Love never fails and love never fades. (Thats another post, :o)

I am almost back....

If you haven't been around long you may need the following disclaimer.  I am a blogger, just not on this site LOL  I have a real job plus a real blog that I maintain on issues related to local mass transportation.

What this site is is a repository of my memories so that when I do my freelance writing and speaking engagements I have a place that jogs my memory.  My speaking gigs to date are primarily at Universities and are on the topics of journalism and entrepreneurship.  I do a few free speaking gigs each year teaching people how to craft pre-event and post event press releases.  And when my daughter reaches high school, I think I'd like to begin speaking on family/work balance and homeschooling.  By then I should have it down to a science. Now, not so much LOL

But  I  wanted you to know that I still appreciate all of the followers and the lone commenter LOL

Just so you know that even when I'm absent from the blog you are still present in my heart!

Until I squeek some time in to catch up, here's some pics of my two favorite people.

The Randomness of my thoughts....

1. Every time I think that I've become a little more organized, I realize how far I am from being so.

2. I just learned that when you put in a florescent bulb you should let it stay on for an hour to reach full strength. That way you get maximum light each time you use it.

3. I don't really like people that I don't like. LOL

4. I like people who think like me and are not competitive.

5. There is a difference between a) being inspired to do something by a friend b) competing with your friends.

6.  I can only give one thing 100% of my time to one thing at a time.  Duh right?

7. I am sooooooooo excited by the possibility that I am going to New Orleans for my 10th wedding anniversary.

8.  I am honored that Martha Stewart is now following ME on Twitter. How fuggin' kewl is that?

9.  I started my organic gardening this week.  It will be box and pot style on my back porch.

10. My brilliance is beginning to be fulfilled and I think that that will finally make me whole.

11.  Working on a project with people you love makes it soooo much better than doing it yourself.

12. I love some women and I'm so glad I can say it to them.

OK, I'm due to do some posting

So this is what I do.  The posts that I do on this blog take a lot of time. I usually have pics and a lot of information. But time, I'm really short on.

I do a lot of Twittering (@SisterP) so I put that cute little box over on the left so you can see that I'm alive even when I don't post.

Right now there's some problem with the feed so I guess I need to post.

Ramadan:
Wow! I had the most amazing month.  Much learned, much accomplished, ready to move forward in the footsteps of Allah's messengers.  Eid celebration yet to be scheduled by my study group. (I know, I know....)

Work:
Need a recharge FOR REAL! Still working on that.  Got an award which I'll talk about.

Homeschool:
We are unschooling right now, but not on purpose LOL!

Housework:
Weeks behind due to some over commitment on my part.

Sewing:
Got a new serger. I have also completed some tasks and pants for babygirl.  Need to begin work on my fall clothes, luckily it's still hot here.

Other businesses:
Have great business idea but it hinges greatly on the work of someone I don't think I can rely on.  This may be an easy one to brush off of my plate.

Book series still in discussion stage.

Other projects:
My mom's 70th bornday celebration is coming fast and I have to come up with the presentation portion of the luncheon. Lots of research and calling about.

What's hot Wednesday - Family

Family, now that's hot!  You can't fake the feelings at the MJ Memorial.

And on another note....doesn't Blanket look like a young MJ in this profile?  I think people are focusing too much on hair and skin color and not looking at these babies. Paris has his chin too.

Mall? What mall?

I needed to have a meeting with someone who is a bus rider so I thought, how about the mall?

When I scoured the lot for a space and finally made it indoors I thought, "When have I even been in here?"

The biggest mall in the region is within walking distance to my home. I pass it several times each week, but I haven't stepped inside since....I think it was when I last bought BG (BabyGirl) her school shoes in August of last year.

That is a major accomplishment by any standard! I have mostly bought fabric and a sweater or underwear somewhere, but buying ready to wear mass produced clothing has been OUT!

I did swing by Stride Rite on my way out to check the sandal options for BG and was pleasantly surprised at all the ones with straps to cover her toes. I was getting worried now that she is in a 13. I'm dreading that period where she has feet too big for child-looking shoes and is too young for that "tween" thing they have going.

I am officially "unhooked" on clothes shopping and when I get a serger...look out WORLD. I may make underwear too!

Father's raising daughters

I was married before. To a man with a daughter. I helped him when he got custody of her full time. He and the daughters mother agreed he should put her in school in the city we were in. I helped him raise her and when we broke up, of course she stayed with him and he became a single dad (for a couple years then remarried).

I said that as proof that I have some experience regarding what I am about to say (think, out loud).

I'm not sure if I like this new phenomenon of father's raising daughters alone.

I know in cases it has to be done but I'm meeting more and more men who have custody of their girls.

I also know that all circumstances are different and that being with one parent, in most cases, is better than being without either of them.

But again, I don't know what the effect will be. How will these girls view women? How will they view men? Who will be their guide to answer those feminine mysteries that come with peer pressure, teasing, that first broken heart and childbirth?

Maybe a family friend, an aunt or other relative could step in. But knowing a person inside out is really important when advising them on such personal matters.

For some reason I feel differently about male relatives advising a young man who is being raised by a single mother. I think that would work out fine...

Again, I'm thinking out loud here and just don't know how I feel.  I do know that I feel all "weird" when I hear of it and know of it.

What say you?

My weekend resolution

This weekend I resolve:
To rest
To fast daily until 4pm
To watch a movie
To make an outfit for baby girl
To finish editing the next issue of the paper
To not spend more than $40
To not talk to anyone longer than 15 minutes (except my radio audience on Sunday ;o)

Just a note to self....carry on!

Social Networking

I cannot say enough good things about Facebook and those Ning groups.

I have reconnected in a meaningful way with some of the people I didn't even realize I missed.

The MGT in Chicago are the truth! With have withstood and stood for and stood against some incredible things and we are all better for it.  Being in touch with them again has made me dream bigger, strive harder and just be a better person. We could have been in touch before, but these sites make it so much easier to connect in places that feel like we are in each others living room or at our favorite Jamaican spot on the Southside.

I've been good, real good! And 15 pounds lighter...

Note to self...

Some things I write as an affirmation to myself and my true feelings. This is one of those times.

I'm still in this funk. I'm functioning but feeling self conscious about my appearance. My hair and my clothes are depressing me. I just looked at a photo of myself and it was written all over my face. The camera never lies (nor does the scale).

Going natural is so hard, but relaxing, braids and dreads are not an option so I have to get over this and work it out. Taking the time to sew each season is tough too, but I can't keep going through this period. I must make the time.

But on the bright side, this is a minor thing that I have control over. I just have to take control. And I'm going to start now.

Taking nothing for granted...

On this day of Thanks I saw this story in the NYTimes about a settlement with food stamp recipients who had been illegally denied benefits.

Speaking of one woman, the article said, "Now she is planning on buying a turkey to share with her son, something she had not done in two years because, she said, 'it takes half the monthly allowance to buy the groceries for that one meal.'"

I know the feeling. Less than two years ago we had to get food from the food pantry and this year I spent over $180 for food on Tuesday. So I am thankful for stocked shelves and a healthy family.

The story warmed my heart because I think the one of the best things we have is a food stamp program. NO ONE should be hungry in the land of plenty and excess.

Most recipeients are the disabled, the young and the working poor. I've been the working poor since starting my own business and was glad for the few months we qualified when I was pregnant. Now that those days are behind me, I am thankful and I am happy for those who get them and sometimes get a treat.

The problem with the BIG dinner....

...is that so much of it tastes better the NEXT day.

So that means I have to bake and cook 80% of the meal one to two days early.

My mom is here so I have some help but my refrigerator and freezer are BULGING at the seams. I know that's a good problem to have but logistically its tough.

Done so far:
Navy bean soup (2 dry pounds worth)
Carrot Pies

Today:
Potato Salad (I usually eat cauliflower salad but my family would strangle me on a "holiday")
Brine the turkey (first time doing this)
Coconut Cake
Cabbage with collards and peppers ( I don't usually eat greens but I throw some in with the cabbage and peppers as another family compromise)

Tomorrow is the easy day:
Dressing
Turkey
Lemonade Iced Tea

I hope you all spend the day with family and friends (and people you love, LOL)! My mommy's here until December 6 so I am HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!

Sister Souljah responds

Ok, so I was disappointed in the end in "Midnight".

I wrote to Souljah and she hit me RIGHT back. The problem is.....she gave me a half canned answer and did not answer my question.

Should I be insulted  by the elementary nature of this?

Peace & Greetings Patricia Muhammad, (Note: My name is NOT PATRICIA)

Thank you for purchasing my novel, MIDNIGHT A GANGSTER LOVE STORY.
Thank you for reading and feeling it as well as understanding it's place in
our culture, particularly for our youth.

Please allow me to clarify about the ending. First of All, MIDNIGHT is a prequel.
This means that it involves the events that happened in MIDNIGHT'S life BEFORE
he went to prison, BEFORE he met Santiaga, BEFORE he met Winter.

Therefore, no reader should have expected to find out  the update or conclusion
of The Coldest Winter Ever from a prequel. What will happen next, God willing,
is the third portion of this trilogy shall be published. It will be the bridge that allows me, the author to tie everything together nicely, hopefully, seamlessly--a beautiful flow and not a forced effort. Feel me?

I understand the urgency our community feels and has for meaningful conversation
and products. Strangely, the task of providing them has fallen squarely on my shoulders because so many people have abandoned the effort, the African community, the youth and the culture and MORALS that used to be automatic!

i will publish, God willing, the next installment as soon as I can. Readers will NOT have to wait ten years again. During that interval, like most good women, i was working quite hard at several businesses and in loving my husband and raising my son and yes cooking,"from scratch."

So my sister, thank you for your acknowledgement and expression of both love and concern. I accept it and I return to you at equal velocity.

Respectfully,
Sister Souljah

P.S. As for the invitations, speaking is a separate business for me, (completely different than book signings which are sponsored by my piublisher). I will await your invite but please know that professional fees will be required to bring me all the way to Kentucky! No disrespect intended. Much Love...

***What say you readers???????

What's new?

I've been sewing.

I am not an experienced sewer (note I did not say seamstress) so it takes me a while to complete projects and it takes full focus.

So for the past 3 weekends I've spent several hours working on a fleece coat for baby girl. I should have photos up soon.

Also, I've been spending my computer time on my college alumni Ning group. Just goofing off with some old friends and making new friends with some old acquaintances. 

Also I signed up for FlyLady to help me stay on top of my house work. I've been reading it but not following so much yet. I'll let you know how that goes.

Overall, just trying to get my domestic diva on.

Thanks for stopping through!