Friday, December 12, 2008

Note to self...

Some things I write as an affirmation to myself and my true feelings. This is one of those times.

I'm still in this funk. I'm functioning but feeling self conscious about my appearance. My hair and my clothes are depressing me. I just looked at a photo of myself and it was written all over my face. The camera never lies (nor does the scale).

Going natural is so hard, but relaxing, braids and dreads are not an option so I have to get over this and work it out. Taking the time to sew each season is tough too, but I can't keep going through this period. I must make the time.

But on the bright side, this is a minor thing that I have control over. I just have to take control. And I'm going to start now.


clnmike said...

Maybe going shopping for a new wardrrobe will do the trick, no?

Lakisa said...

Have you thought about two strand or comb twists for your hair? Natural hair does seem limiting when you are just starting out, but as you get more length, you can do more with it.

As far as clothes, a sister was telling how you can make you own patterns from clothes you already have. Don't ask me how, just an idea. lol So if you have a fav outfit, why not try that?

You're right though, you have to take control and do something with Allah's help.

Girl of a thousand names, including Sister P said...

Thanks for the suggestion Mike. That is easier said than done. Modest clothing is not sold in stores and I am taller than most(5'10") so ordering clothes online is not always good so I must sew and am procrastinating.

I have two strand twists now Lakisa. I'll do a post on how unpredictable they are. Sometimes they look sweet and sometimes NOT! LOL. The daily oiling and pinning and tying is something I must master to keep them as fresh as I'd like.

As you can both see, my problem is making time for myself. It's a cycle.
1. I get too busy to get any time for myself.
2. I get depressed about my appearance.
3. I spend timing whinning and complaining instead of working on it.
4. I am still depressed.
5. Then I realize I did it again. I put myself last and now I'm sad about it.
6. Then I get up and get to work.

Sometimes I make it through this cycle in 4-5 days. Sometimes it takes me 2-3 weeks to get to #5 and move on.