First Things First

Today, as Babygirl was unloading the dishwasher she asked, ''When will I be able to wash dishes?''

I answered, ''When you have learned to wash your body without reminders.''

Judging when it's time for chores is something that really varies per child.

I read blogs and homeschool discussion groups and many posts are related to frustrated mothers who are tired of picking up after children (and husbands) and wanting some help.

Here's what I've done so far with my 8 year old related to responsibility:

1. She has had to clean her room since she was about 3. My job is to make sure the room is organized so that everything has a place. She knows where everything goes and it's her job to put it all back. Even at 8 I have to spend time with her in her room during the week checking under her bed and in the back of the closet for dirty (and sometimes clean) clothes and other stashed items. But making her do it is a habit we're building. She definitely should make her bed each day.

2. She must take her dirty clothes to the basement and carry up her clean folded clothes and put them. This is a pre-requisite for washing and folding laundry.

3. She has been setting the dinner table since about age 6. We eat together as a family and she has to set place mats, plates, silverware, napkins and glasses on the table.

4. Unloading the dishwasher is a new task and is appropriate for her because she is already 5 feet tall. She needs a stool and there are a few items that she is not allowed to reach for but she does 95% of this job.

5. Bathing herself has been since about age 7. This is like cleaning her room. She still needs lots of reminders to get it done right and in a timely fashion. I still yell over curtain asking if she got a certain body part and often have to send her back for deodorant but again, we're building.

Our newest ''thing'' is retiring upstairs at 8pm each night. On a good day, we start about 7:40 and we clean up after ourselves starting in my office (basement) and then on the main floor (living and dining room) and then get upstairs for nightly hygiene and personal time. She likes to read or watch an episode of The Cosby Show on Hulu Plus. It has allowed her to get in bed by 9 without whining or complaint.

What are your child(ren's) age(s) and chores?

Little Girlfriends

Many people in my life have impressed upon me the importance of creating friendships for my daughter.  With her being an only child who is homeschooled, so many people focused on her socialization.  I never sweated that.  I knew that between cousins and my friends children she'd have enough interaction with children until we found some girls with like interests.

We're finally getting there.  Take these two sisters for example. They are into dance and gymnastics but really admire Babygirls singing ability.  They are older and encouraging. Babygirl did not take to ballet and falls asleep during the Nutcracker but loves to go back stage afterward to congratulate her friends and see their costumes and make up up close.  A bonus in this case is that the mom is one of my buddies from before Babygirl was born.  I trust her with the family.

Learning to be a supportive friend is a LEARNED skill.  I'm trying to instill that early.  That is why I don't believe that children under 10 should be left alone without direct observation.  Allowing them some space but still monitoring their actions and conversations is essential for guidance and grooming.

I'll take QUALITY friends over a large quantity any day.