Confession: Scrap booking is intimidating to me. I am not really naturally creative. Following directions...that's me! So putting pictures together with words and ribbons and bows and....I'm getting tired thinking about it.
But I had some things I felt compelled to do through scrap booking. I really want to put together the pictures when I visit my in-laws each year, because we don't get to see them as often as we'd like. I believe that my mother in law will appreciate the pictures this way, she'd look at them often.
Also, I feel the need to document what we're doing in our family. We are the first to ever, or at least in a long time, to attempt home schooling, gardening, Islam and working a business as a family; what I call a deeply conscious life. Having reason to do or not do everything. Nothing is done without thought.
I guess scrap booking will be like this blog for me. I'm doing it for myself, but others can see it and enjoy it if they like.
It has come again to that time of year. You know, reflections and resolutions.
This year I am resolving to become the most excellent me I can be.
I want to do each thing with passion and purpose and most of all excellence.
Excellent: exceptionally good; highest or finest quality
Excellence: The quality of being excellent; state of possessing good qualities in an eminent degree; superiority in virtue.
My relationships have made great strides this year. I have some friends that I REALLY enjoy here which is really new.
My husband and I are working on some projects that will reap benefits for our family soon.
I am doing some things that I really love. I write, sew, garden, homeschool and am a wife, daughter, sister and friend. And I'm going to be better at all of that this year.
This blog is for me. It's public, but it's not for notice, recognition or award. It's a place to be me and a place to document where I've been.
Blogging is part of my future and I'll be doing it from time to time in 2011.
The older babygirl gets, the more I have to ponder this question.
My husband and I are the only Muslims in our families.
We strive to live our lives as examples of our practice of Islam and very rarely talk "against" the practices our families have chosen to adopt. What I try to get them to do, however, is think about what they are doing and why.
For about three years my husband has tried to beat my family and his over the head with Jeremiah 10:2-5. He asks them what is means and most say it is a general reference to idolotry. We believe it is a condemnation of the people who decorate and worship the tree and it warns us not to do the same. So if you think you can have a tree up and not worship it, I guess you can do it. But are you really sure you are NOT worshipping the tree and the gifts? How can you be sure? Those are the real questions.
This year we are in LasVegas for the holidays. Two weeks here to be exact.
On Christmas Eve my sister in law and her family were still putting ornaments on the tree and I asked my daughter not to join them. She was cool, the fam was cool. End of Round 1.
Her husband is a minister, so I asked what I could expect on Christmas day. Prayer? Devotion? Any religious practice? He said, No. Hmmm? Muslims are taught to stop 5 times each day for the rememberence of Allah and on this one day, we have no time set aside? My sister is a minister as well and there is no family devotion on Christmas day there either. Though I am quick to remind people that Christmas is not the equivalent of Ramadan, I still have an expectation. I wonder why that is?
On Christmas Day, I awoke and my sister in law was cooking. Gifts sat under the tree, people lazily awakened and about 3 hours after stirring my brother in law asks the family to gather (we're in his home). He said he had an empty feeling and he knew what it was, he wanted to lead us in prayer and said that it was prompted by my question, "How do you worship on Christmas?" Before opening gifts, he said he honestly wondered how this was going to work with our new family dynamic. He is a Christian minister, we are Muslims and my other sister-in-law recently married so here come a whole lot of traditions and customs and no one took the lead.
We decided that we have to create our own tradition for this day we call Christmas. We decided on fewer gifts, more devotion and more love for our family. (2 days later the children still have unopened gifts under the tree. Can you say toy overload?) End of Round 2.
We can't stop our family from doing the tree and wrapping paper thing, but we did get them to stop and spend some time honoring the Creator and teaching our children why we gather on this day. Partly we do because most are off work during this time. Another reason is that my husbands mother, the matriarch, wants it this way. She even bought our plane tickets to get us here. We can't boycott, even though we want to at times, because we are taught to respect our elders. I don't think that anyone thinks that Jesus was born on December 25. But we should tell our children why we think he is important enough to celebrate his birthday (if we believe this). Otherwise, lets just call it a family reunion and skip the decorations (my idea :o)....So we find ways to satisfy the requirements and desires of our faith while being good guests and physical reminders to our family. End of Round 3.
At the beginning of Ramadan I was feeling a good dose of guilt and gratitude.
I was thankful for the time that is required of those who believe in Allah to refocus on myself and my faith. Ramadan is one of the best periods of my year.
The guilt comes from realizing how far out of focus I had become. I found this great post on another site about how to remain focused throughout the year.
Just reading it made me know that I am no alone in my struggle to become one with Allah and I also was reminded of something I teach my daughter. I tell her that we are "striving Muslims". In the truest definition, Muslim means "one who submits his way to the will of Allah." Knowing this, I can only say that I am striving.
So this is what I do. The posts that I do on this blog take a lot of time. I usually have pics and a lot of information. But time, I'm really short on.
I do a lot of Twittering (@SisterP) so I put that cute little box over on the left so you can see that I'm alive even when I don't post.
Right now there's some problem with the feed so I guess I need to post.
Ramadan:
Wow! I had the most amazing month. Much learned, much accomplished, ready to move forward in the footsteps of Allah's messengers. Eid celebration yet to be scheduled by my study group. (I know, I know....)
Work:
Need a recharge FOR REAL! Still working on that. Got an award which I'll talk about.
Homeschool:
We are unschooling right now, but not on purpose LOL!
Housework:
Weeks behind due to some over commitment on my part.
Sewing:
Got a new serger. I have also completed some tasks and pants for babygirl. Need to begin work on my fall clothes, luckily it's still hot here.
Other businesses:
Have great business idea but it hinges greatly on the work of someone I don't think I can rely on. This may be an easy one to brush off of my plate.
Book series still in discussion stage.
Other projects:
My mom's 70th bornday celebration is coming fast and I have to come up with the presentation portion of the luncheon. Lots of research and calling about.
I needed to have a meeting with someone who is a bus rider so I thought, how about the mall?
When I scoured the lot for a space and finally made it indoors I thought, "When have I even been in here?"
The biggest mall in the region is within walking distance to my home. I pass it several times each week, but I haven't stepped inside since....I think it was when I last bought BG (BabyGirl) her school shoes in August of last year.
That is a major accomplishment by any standard! I have mostly bought fabric and a sweater or underwear somewhere, but buying ready to wear mass produced clothing has been OUT!
I did swing by Stride Rite on my way out to check the sandal options for BG and was pleasantly surprised at all the ones with straps to cover her toes. I was getting worried now that she is in a 13. I'm dreading that period where she has feet too big for child-looking shoes and is too young for that "tween" thing they have going.
I am officially "unhooked" on clothes shopping and when I get a serger...look out WORLD. I may make underwear too!
My husband reminded me that even nature goes through a renewal period. Now is the "death" in nature and Spring brings rebirth.
Then, I caught Will Smith on Oprah and he said basically the same thing. That we think of life in a straight line of birth, life, death. But we should see it as a circle where those three things keep repeating. We experience death of people, death of old habits, etc. and must use them as a chance to recreate.
I remember going through a dark time like this last year and was trying to find it in my blog. I ran into this post from last year.
I know that my life's work is hard, yet fulfilling. But I must find time for renewal BEFORE I experience the feeling of loss/death. I can't keep waiting until my tank is on "E" before I refuel.
More and more I am able to see the symptoms when I am getting depressed.
It is the anxious feelings. The feeling of being overwhelmed. Not knowing what to do first. Wanting to just take a nap and sleep my troubles away.
Today I felt overwhelmed. I had the urge to begin bossing my husband around. [When I'm having that feeling, I start trying to control other people since I can't control myself.] But, I resisted. I thought several times before speaking.
I did BabyGirls homeschool lessons, fed her breakfast and lunch. Did what I could, work and housework wise and then I took a nap.
But instead of stewing, I got up and got dressed in a very nice outfit. Dressed BabyGirl and went to an event where I'd see a lot of people I knew.
I bought some Burger King for our dinner and didn't feel guilty about it. Dressed BG for bed and laid her in the TV room with a video on since she wasn't sleepy and left her there.
Went and cleaned up some.
And now I'm here and I'm feeling fine.
I'll take the steps I need to keep the anxiety down tomorrow. Basically, organization does it for me.
Speaking of one woman, the article said, "Now she is planning on buying a turkey to share with her son, something she had not done in two years because, she said, 'it takes half the monthly allowance to buy the groceries for that one meal.'"
I know the feeling. Less than two years ago we had to get food from the food pantry and this year I spent over $180 for food on Tuesday. So I am thankful for stocked shelves and a healthy family.
The story warmed my heart because I think the one of the best things we have is a food stamp program. NO ONE should be hungry in the land of plenty and excess.
Most recipeients are the disabled, the young and the working poor. I've been the working poor since starting my own business and was glad for the few months we qualified when I was pregnant. Now that those days are behind me, I am thankful and I am happy for those who get them and sometimes get a treat.
...is that so much of it tastes better the NEXT day.
So that means I have to bake and cook 80% of the meal one to two days early.
My mom is here so I have some help but my refrigerator and freezer are BULGING at the seams. I know that's a good problem to have but logistically its tough.
Done so far:
Navy bean soup (2 dry pounds worth)
Carrot Pies
Today:
Potato Salad (I usually eat cauliflower salad but my family would strangle me on a "holiday")
Brine the turkey (first time doing this)
Coconut Cake
Cabbage with collards and peppers ( I don't usually eat greens but I throw some in with the cabbage and peppers as another family compromise)
Tomorrow is the easy day:
Dressing
Turkey
Lemonade Iced Tea
I hope you all spend the day with family and friends (and people you love, LOL)! My mommy's here until December 6 so I am HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!
Can I just take a moment to publicly acknowledge how WONDERFUL my life is?
I love what I do for a living.
I spend most of my days with my husband and my daughter. We are a big package deal and I love that.
We work from home.
We get to be with my daughter as she learns, discovers and grows.
We have food in the fridge, our lights and water are on and I have nothing in the pawn shop! LOL! (somebody who is self-employed knows what I'm talking about :o)
I skipped out on some work time to bake brownies with my babygirl and take her to homeschool park day and then took a nice 2 hour nap so I am about to take my laptop up to my bedroom and finish the rest of my writing and editing work. I can work in bed while my daughter sleeps around the corner.
This is a great life. Not a lot of stress, just a lot of joy.
I wish you all peace and joy and all the love you can stand.
I am going through a ME moment. I have been since April. I'm working on a few things, like my weight (lost about 15 pounds so far), my appearance (new twists and color to hide my gray :o) and excercising (still doing the yoga each week).
I really want to have another baby but I really want to lose some more weight so I'll look and feel better. I want to "like what I see when I'm lookin' at me when I'm walking past the mirror". My weight concern is strictly physical at this point. But I want to lose it before it becomes a health issue. My doctor said he's more concerned about my pregnancy age than my weight (which did not present problems in my last pregnancy).
I'm feeling really selfish and I'm not feeling really guilty about it. Only a little.
I just don't want to stop doing what I'm doing right now.
I'm going to enjoy this me moment because I'm sure that baby bug will bite me hard and I'll drop what I'm doing and get to work (so to speak :o)
I think my only concern is that I'll miss my window of opportunity (I'm 39) and regret it...but I don't want to regret not being in the best mental shape possible when I'm expecting...
I didn't do anything particularly green this week so I thought I'd share two of my favorite shots of the week. Among AAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL the other things I do, I am also a budding photographer. I focus (no pun intended :o) on candid shots.
The first is my husband at the NNPA Convention (Black Press Association). We had a ball! We learned a lot, met so many other Black newspaper publishers, got some ideas and some inspiration. In this shot my husband was collecting newspapers. There was a room with about 3-4 six foot tables full of Black newspapers from around the country that publishers brought with them. Some cities like LA, Detroit and Indianapolis have a weekly Black paper that is larger that the daily paper in Lexington! As I've reminded you before, if you are fortunate enough to have a Black newspaper in your area, pick one up as often as you can. And if possible, subscribe. Most complaints or suggestions you have for the local publisher could probably be fixed with FUNDS, so help them out!
My mom came to town to stay with BabyGirl while we went out of town. Tonight we went to dinner and I caught this one.
Have a great week and I hope you're spending some time OFF line!
Our local Juneteenth - Freedom Celebration was today. Here are some of my favorite shots of the day.
Another thing I love about my life is that I love what I do and the community shows me and my family SO MUCH LOVE. Baby Girl is sitting on the lap of Dr. Anne Butler who is a professor at Kentucky State University who is in charge of The Center of Excellence for the Study of Kentucky African Americans. She is recording and "clarifying" (i.e. stopping the lies about) our history in the state. She asked her friend who is a ventriloquist to make Baby Girl's doll talk, she is still trying to make that baby talk again!
Kentucky has a rich Black history. These brothers are reenactors of the Colored Troops that operated out of Camp Nelson. Camp Nelson provided training for 13% of all the Colored soldiers who fought in the Freedom Fight (Civil War). That was a percentage far greater than our own Black population. Lexington (Big City Wanna Be, as I call it) only reached 13% Black population by the last census in 2000.
I had to cover Michelle Obama's appearance in the city on Monday. I wanted to share the photo above because I love how everyone behind Mrs. Obama is taking her picture, LOL! (if you click on it, it will blow up. If you use it, credit A. Gerton as photographer)
Tuesday morning I was on Santita Jackson's radio show in Chicago by telephone to talk about the primaries. (She's Rev. Jackson's oldest daughter and is The Queen of Chicago talk radio :-)
Tuesday afternoon, I had to do some exit polling for my story. (Everyone I interviewed was for Obama, he won Lexington and Louisville despite the crushing loss of votes in KY)
Then I had to get photos and quotes to the Black newswire.
Tuesday night I had to watch results while putting away laundry and eating.
This morning I had to review final numbers from the Secretary of State and do Santita's show again (which was actually the highlight of my day).
I had to go grocery shopping and am about to cook some dinner.
And now I have 36 hours to turn out my next issue of the paper, do some lessons with baby girl, feed my family and sleep a bit.
I am just in love with my daughter right now. She is finally becoming a Mommy's girl and I love it. For a while, I was third in her life behind her Dad and Daddy (she loves him so much you can count him twice). But now, she's my new running buddy and I just love it.
Of course I've loved her since I prayed for her to be, but today I feel like I'm falling for her all over again!
The first photo is about 3 months old. The next one she's 3 years old.
(Press play while reading..It's long so you may need a drink too! :o)
Can you stand all this fuggin' happiness?! I tend to celebrate EVERYTHING. I love life and love the euphoric emotion we call happiness.
I celebrated my 100th post, my 1 year blog anniversary, my birthday and now.......MY EIGHTH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!!!!
About a year ago, I posted "our story". I''ll do a repost so you can keep listening to the music :o) :
""""There was a 17 year old college freshman who was "saved, sanctified and filled with the holy ghost". She really went to college to find a husband. Since she didn't have a career goal, she wasn't sure of what to major in but had a band scholarship, so she chose Music Education.
In the music department there was a music library. It was actually used as a lounge and was a hangout for the choir members and music majors. There was a really handsome senior who locked and unlocked the doors each day. He was a business major but played the trumpet and was a member of the music fraternity.
The freshman and the senior hung out with the group of students that frequented the library. They all went bowling together, ate pizza together, typical college stuff. But the senior was much more serious and had deep feelings for the freshman who was just "dating." They'd have deep conversations about their upbringing and religious backgrounds and could not have been more different. Freshman was "saved", though she didn't know what it meant, and Senior didn't know who or what he believed in. But they keep talking and "dating". So when senior gave freshman a solid gold dome ring for Christmas, he was showing commitment and she saw it as just a gift. Well....
Freshman had been in the band and was tied up all of Fall quarter so she really didn't get a chance to socialize with the rest of the folks until football season was over. After Christmas break, Freshman realized she was HOT! She was being asked out by football players, other freshmen and frat guys. She was totally ignoring senior and began to lose interest because he wasn't as much "fun".
Some "he said/she said" foolishness made Senior really upset with Freshman. Senior tried to get her attention by starting an argument but it backfired and Freshman didn't speak to him anymore. So for the next year and a half that he was on campus (double major) they rarely spoke. But deep in his heart, Senior was hopeful.
Fast forward........
12 years after they met, the guy who "hooked up" freshman and senior committed suicide. The funeral was in the town that Freshman was now living as a recently divorced single woman. The suicide made Freshman realize that whatever problems she had with anyone were petty and she resolved to squash any feuds.
When senior didn't make it to the funeral (he was living 400 mi. away) Freshman asked around until she found his address and wrote him a letter basically saying that she didn't remember what they argued about but she wasn't mad, heard he was Muslim and hoped he was at peace.
Shocked that she found him, he wrote to her back but couldn't wait for the letter to reach her and called her on the phone. They began talking again and found that they had much in common and had the same goals of entrepreneurship and children and home schooling. He was already a Muslim and she had been studying Islam.
During their courtship he explained that he had never been married because freshman was the only girl he ever imagined himself married to.
Fourteen years after they met and two years after they reconnected, Freshman and Senior married, started a business and a family.""""
To my husband....I hope this life of ours is better than you imagined! Love you more, Sister P
