Blogroll do over - Part 5

I believe that anyone who professes to be a writer should do two things each day. Number one is WRITE and Number two is READ. Two more blogs that keep me up on any details or tidbits I may have missed in the news AND do it intelligently are
Jack and Jill Politics and What About Our Daughters

What I like about them both is that they are issue oriented. WAOD title is self explanatory. They champion the cause of young Black girls and women. Not even the NAACP and Al Sharpton are spared if they find themselves on the wrong side of right when it comes to our daughters. Big props to that crew.

Since I have this love - hate thing with the Jack and Jill organization I love the title of the JAJP blog. It is unashamedly bourgeois but for some reason I don't mind. I love to see "booghee" Barack supporters (most I know are for HC) so this blog suits me just fine.

Many more to come...

When you give, you're the one who gets

I made it to The D on Wednesday evening. I'll be here until Tuesday evening.

It was a bit of a run around to make the plane. My mother's doctors appointment isn't until Monday but I had to come Wednesday to even make it. That's because my paper prints Friday morning and I am usually up from Thursday morning until the print to get in last minute news and edits. Then my husband is out on distribution for several hours on Friday, Saturday and Sunday so it would have been tough to have him break and get me to the airport and juggle our daughter so I just left a day before all hell broke loose.

I have a GREAT friend who kept my daughter Friday night and then she told my husband to just come back to get her on Sunday morning. I homeschool her son with baby girl twice a week so we know them very well and she feels like she owes me all the time. I don't do it for the favors but it's feels good when you can "collect".

What I also got was the chance to spend some quality time with my mom. She is SO independent. She volunteers, is in a Red Hat group, goes to Bible study and church. Has girlfriends and they take cruises and other vacations. She has a vehicle (that is paid for) and is not wanting for anything financially. But spending time with her in her home, I realize that she is still a bit lonely. She could use more attention from her daughters. I call her at least twice a day but my sister only makes it by about once or twice every couple weeks even though she lives 20 minutes away.

A need to start coming in a couple times a year without my family so I can spend time focused on her and anything she needs. It's never much, but I know how it feels to have someone doing something good for you that you didn't ask for and I want her to feel that because she deserves it.

I have also had a great time so far. I wake up leisurely. I went shopping and actually had time to try on clothes and look in the mirror (mothers with children under 5 know what I mean). I went to see Juno (ladies married to Black men know they wouldn't be caught sleeping in there) with my mom. She complimented my eyebrows, which is as good as it gets around here, LOL!

My dad is coming to get me and I'll spend a few hours with him today watching TV and arguing about Barack and Kwame and letting him tell me I don't know shit and listening as he tells me how beautiful I am then asking me how fat am I going to get, LOL! Then with tears in his eyes, he'll look at issues of my newspaper and tell me how proud he is and then tell me about his new $1500 Stingray boots he had made on a trip to Korea in January or show me his new $400 golf club. If you think I have random thoughts...he's my mentor!

But I am having such a peaceful trip because I know that my daughter is taken care of and my husband is getting enough rest as he gets his work done.

I got my paper to press on time all the way from Detroit and will do my radio show by telephone.

My moms appointment is tomorrow and my mom, sister and I spent last night online looking up all the words we didn't know from her test results so we'll be ready to grill the specialist :0)

I know I came here to support my mom, but this is just what I needed too. Some time with my parents focused on them and them focused on me...in their very special way.

LeBron Kong!

Is this racism? First Black man on the over of Vogue is ballin'? Not even a suit for Vogue? He's not even in his uniform, just some random gym clothes. I'm just sayin'...

Being busy

Being busy is best for me. I am much more productive when my plate is full and then I'm not left to be alone in my head, which is a scary place that should require adult supervision. I usually procrastinate until I am under the gun and then I shine and then after the adreneline subsides crash. I'm working on the balance thing. Taking weekends off has helped tremendously, I just have to remember to work hard enough to manage the days off!

When I get some time I'm going to post about 1. the real sin of what we know as welfare 2. my speech at a "diversity/erase racism/talk about something we don't plan to change" conference 3. in BCWB (Big City Wanna Be) there is more economic discrimination than racial.

I'm in the midst of a press week and I'm flying out of here for The D on Wednesday so I'll be scarce but you'll see me around.

Using TV wisely

Now that Baby Girl (3 1/2) is reading up a storm she is really getting a lot from two PBS Kids shows in particular.

First is MY favorite Word World. It reminds me of The Electric Company (which we rent from NetFlix and I HIGHLY recommend those DVD's for age 2 and up). It teaches spelling rules and really is helpful as we expand past the short vowel sounds in our lessons. Her favorite part is when they build a word and she dances with them and goes to get her letters and objects to make pretend words, it's so cute! It does have cartoon characters and talking animals, which I am NOT a fan of but the benefits out weigh my objections. I've seen the DVD's for sale all over and even found them to rent at my local RedBox which is a whole 'nother post. I LOVE RedBox.



Next is Super Why! She really talks back to this show. She yells letters and sounds and I like that the Black girl is the princess (her name is Princess P so I definitely approve of THAT :0) These are both great supplement to our reading lessons.

Just fine...

Whew! I am through with that moment I was having. I had to press forward and basically get an entire new staff. Interviewing all these people and reading all these writing samples took me through something. I knew it was time to grow and my little family was growing and I was resisting. I had to get myself in check so I could effectively manage all of the personalities and philosophies and opinions that come with the new people.

I hired 2 new sales people; a project editor; an on air personality and brought on two new freelance writers (and hopefully one more Omi :).

It would seem like I'd be saying, "Whew! More help!" but it means a lot of work in an area with which I struggle, MANAGEMENT. I had to free my mind and my plate so I would manage my new staff well. They are a great team and if managed properly, we'll see some real progress around here.

This time reminds me of the beginning of my company. The energy and excitement of the people I have around me is contagious. I know that they would not have applied for these positions if they did not see a place that was on the move and something they would be proud to associate with. I am proud of my company. Proud of my and my husbands accomplishments.

I have a new reminder on my desk that reads, "wdUt?" It's code for "what do YOU think?"

Because in the end, that's all that really matters.

Cost of researching Rev. Wright's speeches, THOUSANDS

Damage to Obama campaign, MINIMAL

No way to spin out of this photo...PRICELESS




AHHH...modern technology! I know this meeting can't be compared to a 20 year relationship, but it was taken during the Monica Lewinsky scandal. If Barack is still with Wright and Hillary is still with Bill then....judge for yourself. For me and my house, we back Barack! (and Rev. Wright!)

My GOOD DAY

Today was a great day! I had an argument with my husband! Who's happy about that????? LOL
What was good was that it gave me another chance to see myself and grow. I was longing for his approval and I was pissing him off. He says I always come to him asking him to co-sign something I already decided. Damn! He hit that nail RIGHT on the head.

My upbringing put me in the habit of seeking approval and feeling bad when I didn't get it. WTF? Hubby told it like it is and I needed it. (For the record, he was wrong about something too but that's not the point. LOL)

I called my very best cousin/friend and cried and laughed and was healed by her kindness and funny stories. Everybody needs a friend like her. One who listens attentively but when you sniffle and ask, "What's going on with you?" She comes with the funniest damn story that totally trumps the bull you are trippin' over and next thing you know, you feel like you grew an inch and are ready to face the world again.

I had another silver lining moment. Tuesday my mom told me that her doctor ordered her to see an endocrinologist to look at some suspicious things that showed up during her last physical. She's nervous and afraid it may be the "c" word. Well yesterday she told me the date of her appt. and today I booked a plane ticket so I could go with her to her appointment. Last year I couldn't have done it. I wouldn't have had the money or felt free enough to go. I have lesson plans ready for baby girl, a friend who can help my husband for a few hours with child care and money for the trip. Of course I'm worried about my mom, but relieved that I can be there for her and don't feel guilty about leaving. My organization skills have really improved!

In honor of my good day here is some happy music! Any excuse for some MJ will do for me. This is one of my favorites. It always makes me dance in my seat.

***COMMERCIAL BREAK***
XM RADIO CH. 63 (I think) is MJ 24-7 this month. Quincy Jones selected the music and this station is HOT LIKE FI-YA! Anyone else get down with XM radio?
***We now return to the program***
ENJOY and have a GREAT WEEKEND!!!

Memories...

Don did a post that got me thinking of loves gone by.

First, for the record, I am married to a Diamond Among Men and plan to be for the rest of my or his life.

But I wasn't always his wife. In another life I was single. I was a single college student and after a failed first marriage, I was a single adult woman. And I had a ball! As a matter of fact my current husband was my first boyfriend in college, but he was all intelligent and "right" and I was looking for Mr. Wrong and Ignorant. (We broke up and reconnected 12 years later. He said he always knew he'd marry me. )

But, I've been rethinking these relationships and my current marriage. What about me was attracted to these men and what about me was attractive to these men.

This train of thought, led me to my current and past friendships with other women. Many of them I loved (get your mind out the gutter Don) and do love, but somehow couldn't sustain our friendship.

I was going to break some of these down thinking it would help me get to the next level. But then I thought of this...

I am soooooo looking forward to turning 40 next year.

My twenties were so tumultuous. Quitting college, getting married, raising a stepdaughter, having her taken away from me, working three jobs, doing my own divorce, being homeless, was a trip!

My thirties have been a chance to get a grip on who I want to be in this life. I am moving deliberately toward a goal.

I hope to refine myself in the next decade.

So, recalling past loves gone by may send me into a funk. I could begin having feelings of guilt, shame, blame, etc. which could cause a setback. I'm leaving it all in the past but will deal truthfully with anyone from my past should they resurface.

My fond memories, I'm putting back into a quilted box, putting a velvet ribbon on them and placing them in the back on my mind's closet.

My bad memories, I'm writing in black ink on black paper and burning in my minds furnace. I'm letting them go. I'm letting them go. I'm letting them go. If I had known better, I'd have done better. If I had been stronger, I may have found myself in jail. So for what I went through and where I am now, I am thankful.

Step 2

Me

I am really hard on myself. I have been scrutinized by my parents my entire life and have a bit of an obsession with self analysis. This plays itself out in terrible ways.

1. It makes me a quitter. When I can't do something well, I have a tendency to not do it at all. My husband has been great at helping me push through that feeling of discomfort to complete the tasks I start.
2. I often don't see myself for who I really am. I am quite accomplished, but I focus on my weaknesses. Probably because my best was never good enough.
3. I became self conscious.
4. I am defensive when there is something I don't know.
5. I became an over achiever so no one could ever say there was something I couldn't do. But I often skipped what I wanted to do and did what I felt was most impressive. But that started to leave an empty feeling inside me.

Now that I have built the life of my dreams, I find myself unhappy because the people I've strived to impress are still not always impressed or question me in a way that feels like doubt. On the surface and deep down they are proud of some of my accomplishments but I just don't feel that I am loved without conditions.

I have to get past this feeling so I can quit looking for validation outside of myself.

Even as I close this post I find myself wanting to say, "but my parents love me", "my parents are great people". I want to excuse them. I know that they did the best they knew how to do. But I have to remember that this is about me and not them, their feelings or how anyone sees them.

Step 1

Some good info. if you can use it...

In case you find yourself in an intelligent conversation about Sen. Obama's pastor and want to have some additional insight, here is someone WHITE speaking on behalf of Rev. Wright (come on, you know it helps when you quote white people, LOL)

I pulled these because of some mess I heard on local talk radio Friday. The radio station my show plays on is conservative to say the least. Rush Limbaugh is the main draw during the weekday. Well, a local host tried to take on the Rev. Wright comments but he was ill equipped. A caller said that he was Catholic and has been his entire life and had to endure the priest sleeping with boys scandal. He said Obama can't be held accountable for his pastor's actions. Then the host said something to effect of 'Obama shouldn't subject his wife and children to talk like that and Rev. Wright is the head of that church so he is the equivalent of The Pope.' See, that's some ol' ignant ish right there. So tomorrow on the air I'll address this before I start my "real" show.

NOTE: If you want to listen in, my show is Key Conversations and we are on at 6pm EST you can go here and click LISTEN LIVE (near top right side) and you can hear us. My topic this week is "Black's and Lincoln: What is the connection and why the recent disconnect." Our state is battling with Indiana and Illinois for claim to Lincoln. His 200th birthday is coming and there are celebrations planned and the white folks want Blacks to be on committees to come up with a way to acknowledge him for freeing the slaves and most of us don't want nothing to do with that one. So we're going to to have one of my favorite local scholars on. Her name is Alicestyne Adams and she is the head of the Underground Railroad Research Institute at Georgetown College.

Reminder to self...

...my time is NOW.

Weather condition.....combination rain and hail with gusty winds.

It's about to get deep in here. I go through these periods of growth that are usually painful to go through and equally painful to watch.

I have to get to the root of my discomfort and fear so I can get to the next level.

At this point in 2008, I have everything in place to make this my most productive and professionally rewarding year in history. I just have to get over a few personal and emotional hurdles/obstacles and I then I can run like the wind.

So I'm saying that to say...here I go. You can read along for the ride or catch me in a few. I hope to hear from you along the journey, but it really is my trip to take.

It's called SELF esteem...

I was listening to someone on News and Notes today and they said, "Arrogance is a sign of low self esteem."

I believe that so much. I have a really hard time listening to or reading people who take so much time worry about "the least of these".

Here in BCWB, Ky (Big City Wanna Be) EVERYONE has a degree. From the guy washing your car, to the car salesman, to the aid at the day care. UK must give those damn bachelor's degree's out. I know people with PhD's teaching GED classes and working in call centers. Both because they are "too militant" to work in offices. They have been labeled and bad mouthed by Blacks who don't want to be associated with them. Why can't we just let people be?

Everyone has a degree or two or three but you find some other way to put people down. Maybe it's their clothes, an accent, the car they drive, the zip code they live in, if they rent v. own a home, any excuse to make yourself feel good.

Why do we as Blacks have a "collective self esteem". Why do we feel embarrassed by other Blacks? I heard someone say it is because we are taught to look at each other as family. But is that reasoning any better? If you have a sister who is a crack head, should you be embarrassed? Hell no! You shouldn't be proud of her, but it's not yours to own.

I'm sort of venting and have been for a couple weeks about this.

Your critique of others if based on how you feel about yourself.

When you get ready to talk about someone, or a group of people with a particularly offensive characteristic or habit, stop and ask yourself how seeing them makes you feel. If you are embarrassed, ask yourself why? And then ask yourself why you didn't talk WITH the person instead of talking ABOUT them to others who can't change a thing about them.

I know a sister who suffers from a mental illness. I only found this out when a friend of ours' son died suddenly. She would do as much as she could to help and then had to take a pill. Once she did, she sat on the porch rocking. Well one night we were in a meeting and she was very passionate about something but it wasn't making a lot of sense so it just sound like an incoherent rant. (much like this post). As I was leaving the meeting I heard two women talking about her. One says, "What's wrong with her, is she crazy?" And I interrupted and said, "How would she know? Go talk to the sister and ask her to sit down calmly and try to tell you what she was trying to say. It's really rude to talk about someone especially in earshot of others." The one talking just tried to make excuses for why she was asking the question, but it all sound stupid. The other girl looked really sorry.

Gossiping and "cracking" is hard to refrain from. It took my younger brothers to point out to me that I cracked and made fun of others. I thought it was funny but they thought I was talking about people, and really I was. When I realized how foolish I sound, I quit! It's hard to stop, but please stop. You are trying to keep attention from yourself but it's not working. You sound really foolish and your low self esteem is showing!

I think it's upsetting me because here in Ky, we hear all of the gossip and it is used as a weak excuse for not unifying as a community. We are only 13% of the population here so we can't afford all these silly divisions. Then online, I see bloggers talking about groups of people (rappers, people on welfare...) and then there are 50-60 cosigners. And anyone who calls them on it is ganged up on. It's like the movie Mean Girls, for real. And if you're guessing, it's not one blog in particular. There are a few that I've browsed upon.

See...what had happened was...

...my Mac ate my homework!

Yes, I am the only person in publishing who can't work a Mac.

I wanted to say that I have been commenting on blogs for the past couple weeks and when I go back to see other comments mine is not there. It happens when I use the internet on my Mac. So, I'm really not MIA on your sites. I guess I'm closing the box before it posts. I thought I had some really funny comments too.

UNLESS, I'm being censured. It's happened twice on African Girl's site and once on Don's and Lovebabz.

Is this really a conspiracy to shut down Sister P?

Movie recommendations

I'm not a big movie fan. I love a good movie, but I'm often disappointed as good ones are hard to come by.

African Girl recommended The Namesake on her blog. I'm usually a fan of this type of movie. It's like what a good reality show would be like. You're just watching as the characters lives happen to them. It's really a great story that a couple could watch. It's not too mushy for the men and it's romantic and sentimental enough for the women.

"G" rated movies that are not full of talking animals and have real Black characters are almost unheard of. So I had to check out College Road Trip.


What I liked:
1. That it had two caring parents and two exceptional children who weren't terribly mean to each other.
2. It was funny to adults.
3. No Black men dressed as women. (Big ups to Dave C.)

What I didn't like:
1. The make up was bad! Raven looked hot in all that ish.
2. The father was the chief of police and the only friends of the parents we saw were white and all of Raven's friends were non-Black. Is that a statement on "making it"? Do you run out of Black counterparts?

I would recommend this for an older child. Maybe 3-4th grade and older. Younger, it will probably hold their attention but they won't get it.

Two movies and two thumbs up!

Awwwwwwww damn!

I was casually making the rounds on this snowy afternoon and came across a post about this movie.

You know that's Robert Downey Jr. in the middle right? Here's what the intelligent folk are saying. I'm saying, "This is some bullshit!" I know I haven't (and probably won't) seen the movie but I'm just sayin'!

Blogroll do over - Part 4

Note from Sister P: In case you missed it, I'm re-doing my blogroll so it reflects places that I go regularly and would recommend to the general public.

There are only a few bloggers that I know in "real" life. Black bloggers are hard to come by in Central Kentucky.

There is a sister that I met online and we've been in touch that way ever since. I was trying to help another sister find a Mocha Mom's chapter and we found Miss Mwabi on the message boards. I joined her book club, then she started doing some writing for my paper, then she asked me to join the planning committee for a lecture series and on and on and on. Her blog is part pop culture recap and part personal musing and it's all fun.

Recently, she became editor in chief of Jamati.com. You HAVE to go there! I pride myself on knowing a bit about everything but found myself so "ignorant" about African pop culture. It is a place to go to really learn about what current African culture is like and it will make you sound so hip when you talk with your African friends!

Another blogger I know started BlackAmericaTalks.net. I met him when he was press secretary for the last mayor of Big City Wanna Be, KY. I did not know how much history he had working in local media around town. He is an aspiring talk show host now and has some very conversational posts. You'll always find a good chat going on over there.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket...

Well, last month baby girl started reading. We've been rolling right along with Hooked On Phonics until about a week ago. We've had short stories in the workbook and she's getting it. Then, she was ready to read the first book and it was like pulling teeth. She couldn't make the connection. The story was too complex. She knows about 25-30 words but the dammed first book tried to use them all! It did very little rhyming and was getting to wear her down.

Well, yesterday we went to Toys R Us for some roller skates (awww, her first skates, exhale)and since it was empty, we strolled the aisles. I was in the book section and thought I'd look for those corny ass Dr. Seuss books. Well, even Hop on Pop looked to have too many new words so I just kept looking.

Then.....(drumroll here)

I saw these BOB books.
I remember someone mentioned these on one of my Black homeschool group boards. I had already committed to trying HOP so I left it alone. Well, I am proud to say my baby picked up the book and read the first story straight through! I knew she could do it. She was reading all the words on the worksheet pages, but in the book form they switched the game up.

Lesson: Don't "commit" to any curriculum or teaching style. When something doesn't fit, don't force it. Just go another way.

I highly recommend the BOB series in conjunction with HOP. HOP will teach the letters and sounds well. The books are just a bit confusing right out the gate. BUT, if you're taking my advice remember my daughter is only 3 and 6mos. now. (reading for about a month). An older child may have an easier transition.

Blogroll do over - Part 3

Everyone loves a good story of triumph. Lovebabz is one in the making. When I found this sister, she was awaiting sentencing on a felony conviction and going through a divorce and raising four children. You'd think she'd have this sorry and pitiful blog thing going on, but not my girl Babz. She's still going strong and moving on. She blogs daily so it's always a good read.

Remember when I got blog dumped? Well, we're back together now and the blog is back open for the public. Don does these great "likes and dislikes" lists that are always the truth. He has a crew of commenter's that are as much fun to read as his posts. Definitely a place to see and be seen.

There are some blogs where I "lurk" but never comment. I admire this sister for being the woman she is. She sews, takes photos, scrapbooks, bakes, cooks. She is a fascinating sista' if ever there was one! Don't go here unless you want to be inspired to do more. Adrienne's raised the homemaking bar up a few inches.

More to come!

p.s. Please don't feel the need to reciprocate if I blogroll you. Really, it's not expected.