Tired of talking about......

There are some subjects that I am just tired of discussing.
#1 WEIGHT and DIETS- If someone see's me and says, "You're losing weight. What are you doing?" I say, "Eating less, moving more." But noooooo that's not enough. What are you eating? What are you doing for exercise? How many times do you work out each week? and, and, and, and, There are many ways to lose it, like there are many ways to gain it. Quit talking about it, just be about it. I especially get tired of OVERweight people telling you about how they lost 10 pounds. I don't care. I REALLY don't.

#2 MONEY (or should I say lack of) - Everyone I talk to is grown. So as an adult you can do something about your finances. Again, just be about it and quit talking about it.

#3 HAIR-This was given to me by a friend. Black women and their hair rituals/obsessions are driving me crazy. Which relaxer gets your hair straighter...which colors are "natural"....are braids professional....should I grow locks.....

Typical conversation:
Sister P: Did anyone watch the "Black" democratic presidential candidate debates on PBS?
Black Woman #1: Girl naw, I was online reading about this new prune and banana diet.
BW#2: I was at the beauty shop until 10:30 getting some highlights.

Most of us don't talk about showering, shaving under our arms, brushing our teeth. It's a given and it's personal. I'd like money, dieting and hair to be the same.

Always be prepared

We had dinner with another family last week and I always offer to bring something since most Muslims eat a pretty elaborate supper and it makes for lots of cooking when you have guests. I had about 2 1/2 hours so I offered to bake a chocolate cake but she preferred pie or pound cake. I happened to have a pie in the freezer so we just grabbed some ice cream to go with it and we were good!
This reminded me that I have one of those food savers (you put the food in special plastic and it pulls all the air out so it lasts for years in the freezer and when it thaws, its just like you made it) which saved me from eating so much Wendy's and Arby's when I was expecting. I always had quiche, navy bean soup, pie, cookie dough and other things frozen so we always had healthy food ready for emergency's. I have been struggling to cook and clean the kitchen each night because we are running into our busy season but I could be cooking bigger meals and freezing some for later.
I have known this but I need a reminder now and then, that everything you need, you already have. Meaning, the solution to every problem I have, is somewhere in my brain if I could calm myself to access it.

Money, money, money, mo-ney...MO-NEY!

My sister sensed my 'brokeness' and sent me a belated birthday gift. My birthday was almost 2 months ago so I know this was just pity, but hey, I'm not proud!
I have been contemplating what to do with the money for four days now. A hundred bucks is like a million when you are broke like me. Broke for me is when I can pay enough on all my bills to keep my services on, but there is nothing extra for treats like a movie or dinner out.
I finally decided to buy myself some Carol's Daughter hair products. I am growing my relaxer out and hope that the products make my hair more manageable.
I am sitting here blogging because I checked my bank account balance before I went shopping online and found that my account was at $0.00!!!
After checking with my hubby he said that they must have put his deposit into our savings account (again, gotta love credit unions), so our groceries ate up my play money. He'll get it straightened out tomorrow.
Oh well, I've have to get my shop on over the weekend.

Friends: How many of us have them?

And then next line is "One's we can depend on."

I was on Creole in DC's site (which is a GREAT blog. It is fabulously real at times and digresses unashemedly to utter foolishness sometimes) and there was a post about having old friends.

Well it got me to thinking...I have one great friend from college. She joined the marching band but hadn't played clarinet since 5th or 6th grade. She was terrible but I was section leader and helped her until she was able to make it. We became fast friends, she's from "The D" too and we were roommates and didn't hate each other afterward. I wish she was closer, she has since moved to Charlotte and does not own a computer and doesn't "get" email so we have to chat in between jobs, children and husbands. The rest of the people I'm still in touch with from college are...I hate to say this but it's real.....disposable. I can't say I'd miss them if we never spoke again. We've had these shallow disconnected conversations for the past 15 years.

I have one best cousin who lives in Newark. I can talk to her about almost anything and she never judges me and I love her for that. But again, the distance it so great that there are times when we can't see each other in person for a few years and when I need a hug, she's too far away.

I have a few goods friends here in "Big city wanna be." And one great one. I have just had trouble finding people who I have more than one thing in common with. One friend loves words as much as me, one is a Muslim like me and one is a news junkie like me. As I sit there thinking, I can't call anyone else I know a friend. They'd all have to be acquaintances.

Moving around as an adult has made it a bit diffucult. I left Detrot at 17 and have only returned for a few times for more than 2 weeks for summers and Christmas breaks. I lived in the Dayton area from about 1991-1998 then Chicago until 2001 and now here. But I always find anyone I really want to talk to and they find me.

Sometimes though I wish I had a Gayle kind of friend who I can call everyday about anything. I am still looking for that friend who is my Ethel (and I'd be Lucy) who is game to try anything. I just want to have a buddy.