Right now...

I'm feeling good.
Had a productive work day and even managed to get in some "idiot box" time. I watched that damned Chef Gordon do a "helluva" makeover on a restaurant. But I managed to get some inspiration from his last few words. He basically told the restaurant owner (who was about to shut down) that now that he was back on track, he had to transition from just a chef to a restaurateur.

I am right there with my business. I have to go from managing editor and talk show host to CEO. Though I'm doing that, I don't have the "mentality". I work "with" my staff and don't really allow myself the space to move the business forward. I think that everyone feels like they have input, but they don't all stay awake at night strategizing our next move like me and then I'm swayed by their "gut reaction" or impulsive suggestion.

I have to take charge. This is my life and my business. This is the business that I am building for generations to come so I have to set a strong foundation and no better time than the crucial year 6. 80% of small businesses fail in the first 5 years and we are in the 4th quarter of a hellacious year 5.

I'm ready to make that move and now I realize that that was what all the crying has been for. I've been going through a birthing process and I'm half way through labor, without the pain medication (drugs/alcohol). It's rough but I'll make it and we'll be a happier family for it.