Friday, July 18, 2014

Peace is created

Bismillah...Ramadan Mubarak!

In my 2013 in review post I ended by saying:

My wish for all who stop by this blog: May you have PEACE with all that Allah has in store for your life in 2014. The good and the bad and the lessons.

That is my constant prayer. To be at peace.

Late evening on January 26, my dad suffered an unusual headache and went to the urgent care.

After an evaluation he was rushed to the hospital due to a brain bleed.

On January 27 he had emergency brain surgery and I was in Detroit by the time he was back from surgery.

Christmas 2007. The first picture of my parents together with the grandchildren. Thankfully they both lived to work out their relationship for us to have precious photos like this to remember.
He ultimately died. That was March 26. I'll have lot's of posts about the two month grace period that we were granted.

But I wanted to talk about the peace that I felt during that time. There were times of frustration, boredom, anxiousness, fatigue and sorrow. But overall, there was peace.

I can say without hesitation, that with the help of Allah, I CREATED peace during that time. My actions gave me peace. Not just my actions during that time, but the good will that I had stored up with friends and family was able to be repaid to me and my father. My peace of mind and desire to honor my father made me a brave warrior during challenging times and knowing that I stood up for him when he couldn't do that for himself, gave me peace and removed all pressure I could have felt for being away from Kentucky for 2 months straight. My desire to be near him kept my head calm and I stayed prepared to spend the night or stay late based on the circumstances of the day.

All that we did to keep my dad alive, comfortable and making strides during recovery gave us peace when he returned to Allah.

The mercy of Allah that allowed us to be with him all day on his final day and be with him during his final episode and be there for the last beat of his heart is a GIFT that I will forever try to repay to Allah.

I am so thankful for my father's 76 spirit filled years. I am so thankful to have had 45 years with him. I am thankful for the 2 month grace period when he came back to us and walked again and knew us and could call our names and share laughs with us and hold our hands again. I am so thankful that he handled his business and we never had one hard decision because of finances. I am thankful that my family had his place to stay in while we were in the city caring for him. I am thankful that there was a car for me there so I could leave our car with my husband so he could travel back and forth as needed. That there was money for incidentals not covered by insurance. That I got to meet some of my dad's friends as they came to visit him. That he could reassure me that I was loved. That he knew, without a doubt that I loved him.

This list could go on forever, because my gratitude is eternal...and so is my peace.

We can't just pray and hope for peace, we have to take steps to create it for ourselves.


Robin said...

Grace and Peace is much needed during life transitions. Thank you for such a touching post.

Sister P said...

Thanks for feeling it Sister Robin.

Itiel McVay said...

Gratitude makes room for so many good things. I'm glad that your father has you.

Itiel McVay said...

And THIS > We can't just pray and hope for peace, we have to take steps to create it for ourselves. Yes!!!

Sister P said...

You know Itiel, I was told that if I ever had the chance to be with a loved one during their transition that I'd never be the same. I am so reflective now and almost obsessed with not forgetting. I don't want this experience to be in vain.

Itiel McVay said...

I can truly understand that.