I love order and rules.
Give me a rule, that makes sense, and I will follow it.
I realized around September that I had a lot of goals and no clear path to completion. I felt that I could get more out of my day than I was, but felt helpless to fix it all.
So what did I do? I googled ''[my city] + life coach''.
I looked at websites of the first few and after three, I went right back to the first one.
My coach is a sister who I didn't know but, when I put her name into Facebook, we knew many of the same people. I loved her website and the fact that her program is called ''Get Shit Done''. A cussing woman, is my kind of woman (sad to say LOL).
Showing posts with label my free advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my free advice. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Why join a Homeschool Co-Op?
I believe that there are several reasons that education cooperatives are very important in the development of the homeschooled child and the parent.
Some children lack other adult guidance and instruction. The co-op lets them learn to take instruction from people other than you.
Helped build her immune system. My daughter was not exposed to many outside germs and communicable disease like the common cold, flu, etc The first 2 weeks of co-op she had sniffles. But soon her body adapted and she broke the cold and never had another one.
There may be something that you need a group for such as a special class. I approached our Black history museum about a daytime class and the curator said sure, but we needed to have a minimum number in attendance to do it. I found other parents from the coop to join us.
Next in the series:
Part II: How to choose the right Co-Op
Benefits to the parent:
It allows you to network with other parents who are doing and have done what you are trying to accomplish. You can learn a lot from them and always have a group to ask questions of.
The coop can give you an extra opportunity to see adults. Many homeschool parents do not work outside the home and find it isolating.
There are some courses that your child needs that you don't have a clue about. There may be another parent teaching something that you don't want to attempt and your child gets the lesson which is the most important thing.
Benefits to the child:
Many children miss "going to school". But it is the structure and predictablility that they are often missing. The co-op we attended had 4 instructional hours so my daughter got to change classes. Plus she got to pack a lunch and experience the "cafeteria".
Allows your child to find some same age and same gender friends. All the children in our neighborhood are 2-3 years older than my daughter and my friends with children her age are all boys. We haven't found a compatible friend yet, but the vehicle is there.
Allows your child to find some same age and same gender friends. All the children in our neighborhood are 2-3 years older than my daughter and my friends with children her age are all boys. We haven't found a compatible friend yet, but the vehicle is there.
Some children lack other adult guidance and instruction. The co-op lets them learn to take instruction from people other than you.
Helped build her immune system. My daughter was not exposed to many outside germs and communicable disease like the common cold, flu, etc The first 2 weeks of co-op she had sniffles. But soon her body adapted and she broke the cold and never had another one.
There may be something that you need a group for such as a special class. I approached our Black history museum about a daytime class and the curator said sure, but we needed to have a minimum number in attendance to do it. I found other parents from the coop to join us.
Next in the series:
Part II: How to choose the right Co-Op
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The cold has arrived....
Well, me and babygirl have been catching the city bus all the way over to homeschool coop so that is triple the germs and thus....the cough! Babygirl is coughing and the bottom of my throat is burning.
Today was co-op day and they cancelled due to so many illnesses. Great call! I promise to do a post about our local co-ops, but first the sickness post.
When anyone is sick: I buy liquid Lysol and get to wiping. Door knobs, doors, toilet handles and seats, water faucets, tables and kitchen counters. Anything that can take it. Then I come back with the spray Lysol. This is done twice per day. (either morning or evening and then one naptime run through). Plenty of liquid soap for hand washing and lots of laundry. We wash bed clothes and linens daily during illnesses and I do a bit of a quarantine. I try to confine the person to one floor of the house. Our bedrooms, TV room and two baths are upstairs plus we have a laptop so confinement is pretty easy.
Also, when illness is over new toothbrushes!
When momma is sick: The same applies but our menu goes to simple mode. Last night I ordered take out since I was just feeling it. Today I can get up and get two soups going and go buy juice and things for sandwiches. My kitchen shuts down when I'm sick. I don't want to spread anything while I'm cooking or serving and I don't need the extra dishes and work. I can handle loading and unloading the dishwasher.
I always look around for home remedies for illness so those vary by symptom. But we do keep apple cider vinegar, white vinegar, lemon, garlic, honey, molassas, distilled water and cayenne pepper around which in some combination, make up most home remedies.
Also, here's some professional advice....I don't advocate vaccines (even flu ones) but her other advice about rest and general health are good to me.
Also, here's some professional advice....I don't advocate vaccines (even flu ones) but her other advice about rest and general health are good to me.
What's your sick routine?
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
What's hot Wednesday - The Kentucky Women Writers Conference
And it's not just for Kentucky women!
I came to learn of this conference from a group of women that were in the first book club I was ever in here in Lexington. Many of them were on the board or active in some way.
The first one I attended was in 2004 and I was pregnant. I remember because I was a bit tired and always hungry, so a full day event did not sound appealing. But I just couldn't go home! It was that good!
First, the night before the conference we had a "sister" dinner with none other than Sonia Sanchez. She was so gracious and was willing to talk to each of us and of course I asked her about her experience in The Nation. I'll have to share that one day or get a story done about it.
The next day changed my life. There was a panel discussion that included Rebecca Walker (daughter of Alice), Sis. Sonia and some others I can't recall but I DO recall the title: The Life of An Activist Writer.
I sat there thinking, "That's me. I now have an identity and purpose."
2004 was the year we published our first issue of The Key Newsjournal and I found myself a business owner and writer who didn't want to publish society photos, or entertainment or sports. We saw the work that needed to be done in Lexington and wanted to be about the motivation of people to do the work. I wanted my words to take wings and lift someone up.
The conference is not for any ONE genre of writer. But the fact that the organizers would put something like this on the agenda and would have more than the one obligatory Black person had me hooked.
I am now on the Board of the wonderful thing we call the Kentucky Women Writer's Conference and have the pleasure of chairing the Sonia Sanchez Lecture Series Committee.
This year the Sonia Series will feature the brave, bold, blogger Gina McCauley, who founded What About Our Daughters.
Also, inauguration poet Elizabeth Alexander will deliver a keynote lecture and appear along with poet Nikki Finney and Honore Jeffries.
The website can fill in all the other parts I left out, but I wanted to personally invite anyone who reads these words and 'thinks' that they may be a writer but has yet to find their focus. This conference could be a defining moment for you. Or you could just come and have a ball!
I came to learn of this conference from a group of women that were in the first book club I was ever in here in Lexington. Many of them were on the board or active in some way.
The first one I attended was in 2004 and I was pregnant. I remember because I was a bit tired and always hungry, so a full day event did not sound appealing. But I just couldn't go home! It was that good!
First, the night before the conference we had a "sister" dinner with none other than Sonia Sanchez. She was so gracious and was willing to talk to each of us and of course I asked her about her experience in The Nation. I'll have to share that one day or get a story done about it.
The next day changed my life. There was a panel discussion that included Rebecca Walker (daughter of Alice), Sis. Sonia and some others I can't recall but I DO recall the title: The Life of An Activist Writer.
I sat there thinking, "That's me. I now have an identity and purpose."
2004 was the year we published our first issue of The Key Newsjournal and I found myself a business owner and writer who didn't want to publish society photos, or entertainment or sports. We saw the work that needed to be done in Lexington and wanted to be about the motivation of people to do the work. I wanted my words to take wings and lift someone up.
The conference is not for any ONE genre of writer. But the fact that the organizers would put something like this on the agenda and would have more than the one obligatory Black person had me hooked.
I am now on the Board of the wonderful thing we call the Kentucky Women Writer's Conference and have the pleasure of chairing the Sonia Sanchez Lecture Series Committee.
This year the Sonia Series will feature the brave, bold, blogger Gina McCauley, who founded What About Our Daughters.
Also, inauguration poet Elizabeth Alexander will deliver a keynote lecture and appear along with poet Nikki Finney and Honore Jeffries.
The website can fill in all the other parts I left out, but I wanted to personally invite anyone who reads these words and 'thinks' that they may be a writer but has yet to find their focus. This conference could be a defining moment for you. Or you could just come and have a ball!
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Truth- High Fructose Corn Syrup
Recently I was disturbed to see a tv commercial passing high fructose corn syrup off as a natural harmless ingredient. "It's made from corn".
The problem is that it comes in many forms. Here is a Wikipedia breakdown:
High-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) is any of a group of corn syrups which have undergone enzymatic processing in order to increase their fructose content and are then mixed with pure corn syrup (100% glucose) to reach their final form. The typical types of HFCS are: HFCS 90 (used almost exclusively in the production of HFCS 55) which is approximately 90% fructose and 10% glucose; HFCS 55 (most commonly used in soft drinks) which is approximately 55% fructose and 45% glucose; and HFCS 42 (used in a variety of other foods, including baked goods) which is approximately 42% fructose and 58% glucose.
The key word here is HIGH fructose corn syrup. There is nothing natural about what they are doing to the corn syrup.
So moderation is the key, abstinence is best and talking to your physician is a MUST.
Don't let these commercials have you feeding your child increased amounts of high fructose corn syrup! And if you already have your children off of it, try to keep them off.
The problem is that it comes in many forms. Here is a Wikipedia breakdown:
High-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) is any of a group of corn syrups which have undergone enzymatic processing in order to increase their fructose content and are then mixed with pure corn syrup (100% glucose) to reach their final form. The typical types of HFCS are: HFCS 90 (used almost exclusively in the production of HFCS 55) which is approximately 90% fructose and 10% glucose; HFCS 55 (most commonly used in soft drinks) which is approximately 55% fructose and 45% glucose; and HFCS 42 (used in a variety of other foods, including baked goods) which is approximately 42% fructose and 58% glucose.
The key word here is HIGH fructose corn syrup. There is nothing natural about what they are doing to the corn syrup.
So moderation is the key, abstinence is best and talking to your physician is a MUST.
Don't let these commercials have you feeding your child increased amounts of high fructose corn syrup! And if you already have your children off of it, try to keep them off.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wedding gifts...
So you know I went to a wedding. And by far it was the most fabulous of all weddings I'd been to. It was straight out of the platinum wedding text book. Tons of real, exotic flowers. Buffets (yes, plural) with salmon, and carving stations of beef and turkey. A live band for the cocktail hour that preceded the reception. A dj for the after dinner party. An open bar. Ice sculpture of their initials. I could go on and on and on! (Did you catch the hologram of the couples initials over the arches in the big family photo?)
I don't take gifts to weddings, because I remember lugging all that stuff home. My first wedding (y'all knew I was married before right?) was in Detroit but we lived in Dayton and almost couldn't fit it all into the van to go back. (Someone gave us a 24" TV and this was before flat screens people) It was a blessing but I wish some had mailed them.
Also, because the bride has been away in school since 2000 (she's going to be a physician) I didn't know her tastes much and hate to buy from the registry.
After spending the weekend watching her and the groom I realized that the young couple needed what every other couple needs.
I have two standard wedding gifts.
1. For the older couple who both had their own places first, I give a nice piece of African art. Usually a mask or hand crafted table art with a stand of some sort. Of course it's wrapped in African cloth or a sarong that the bride can wear later.
2. For a younger couple or a couple where the wife was still living with her parents, I like to give them an engraved African Heritage Study Bible. First, because only God is going to get you through a marriage (can I get an Amen!) and also, they need to record their history there as we have done for generations.
I almost gave into the feeling of "fabulous" and bought them something more "grand". But I realize that giving them something to remind them of WHO they are or WHOSE they are is always right on time!
Do you have a standard wedding gift.
I don't take gifts to weddings, because I remember lugging all that stuff home. My first wedding (y'all knew I was married before right?) was in Detroit but we lived in Dayton and almost couldn't fit it all into the van to go back. (Someone gave us a 24" TV and this was before flat screens people) It was a blessing but I wish some had mailed them.
Also, because the bride has been away in school since 2000 (she's going to be a physician) I didn't know her tastes much and hate to buy from the registry.
After spending the weekend watching her and the groom I realized that the young couple needed what every other couple needs.
I have two standard wedding gifts.
1. For the older couple who both had their own places first, I give a nice piece of African art. Usually a mask or hand crafted table art with a stand of some sort. Of course it's wrapped in African cloth or a sarong that the bride can wear later.
2. For a younger couple or a couple where the wife was still living with her parents, I like to give them an engraved African Heritage Study Bible. First, because only God is going to get you through a marriage (can I get an Amen!) and also, they need to record their history there as we have done for generations.
I almost gave into the feeling of "fabulous" and bought them something more "grand". But I realize that giving them something to remind them of WHO they are or WHOSE they are is always right on time!
Do you have a standard wedding gift.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Blogroll do over - Part 5
I believe that anyone who professes to be a writer should do two things each day. Number one is WRITE and Number two is READ. Two more blogs that keep me up on any details or tidbits I may have missed in the news AND do it intelligently are
Jack and Jill Politics and What About Our Daughters
What I like about them both is that they are issue oriented. WAOD title is self explanatory. They champion the cause of young Black girls and women. Not even the NAACP and Al Sharpton are spared if they find themselves on the wrong side of right when it comes to our daughters. Big props to that crew.
Since I have this love - hate thing with the Jack and Jill organization I love the title of the JAJP blog. It is unashamedly bourgeois but for some reason I don't mind. I love to see "booghee" Barack supporters (most I know are for HC) so this blog suits me just fine.
Many more to come...
Jack and Jill Politics and What About Our Daughters
What I like about them both is that they are issue oriented. WAOD title is self explanatory. They champion the cause of young Black girls and women. Not even the NAACP and Al Sharpton are spared if they find themselves on the wrong side of right when it comes to our daughters. Big props to that crew.
Since I have this love - hate thing with the Jack and Jill organization I love the title of the JAJP blog. It is unashamedly bourgeois but for some reason I don't mind. I love to see "booghee" Barack supporters (most I know are for HC) so this blog suits me just fine.
Many more to come...
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Movie recommendations
I'm not a big movie fan. I love a good movie, but I'm often disappointed as good ones are hard to come by.
African Girl recommended The Namesake on her blog. I'm usually a fan of this type of movie. It's like what a good reality show would be like. You're just watching as the characters lives happen to them. It's really a great story that a couple could watch. It's not too mushy for the men and it's romantic and sentimental enough for the women.
"G" rated movies that are not full of talking animals and have real Black characters are almost unheard of. So I had to check out College Road Trip.
What I liked:
1. That it had two caring parents and two exceptional children who weren't terribly mean to each other.
2. It was funny to adults.
3. No Black men dressed as women. (Big ups to Dave C.)
What I didn't like:
1. The make up was bad! Raven looked hot in all that ish.
2. The father was the chief of police and the only friends of the parents we saw were white and all of Raven's friends were non-Black. Is that a statement on "making it"? Do you run out of Black counterparts?
I would recommend this for an older child. Maybe 3-4th grade and older. Younger, it will probably hold their attention but they won't get it.
Two movies and two thumbs up!
African Girl recommended The Namesake on her blog. I'm usually a fan of this type of movie. It's like what a good reality show would be like. You're just watching as the characters lives happen to them. It's really a great story that a couple could watch. It's not too mushy for the men and it's romantic and sentimental enough for the women.
"G" rated movies that are not full of talking animals and have real Black characters are almost unheard of. So I had to check out College Road Trip.
What I liked:
1. That it had two caring parents and two exceptional children who weren't terribly mean to each other.
2. It was funny to adults.
3. No Black men dressed as women. (Big ups to Dave C.)
What I didn't like:
1. The make up was bad! Raven looked hot in all that ish.
2. The father was the chief of police and the only friends of the parents we saw were white and all of Raven's friends were non-Black. Is that a statement on "making it"? Do you run out of Black counterparts?
I would recommend this for an older child. Maybe 3-4th grade and older. Younger, it will probably hold their attention but they won't get it.
Two movies and two thumbs up!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Blogroll do over - Part 4
Note from Sister P: In case you missed it, I'm re-doing my blogroll so it reflects places that I go regularly and would recommend to the general public.
There are only a few bloggers that I know in "real" life. Black bloggers are hard to come by in Central Kentucky.
There is a sister that I met online and we've been in touch that way ever since. I was trying to help another sister find a Mocha Mom's chapter and we found Miss Mwabi on the message boards. I joined her book club, then she started doing some writing for my paper, then she asked me to join the planning committee for a lecture series and on and on and on. Her blog is part pop culture recap and part personal musing and it's all fun.
Recently, she became editor in chief of Jamati.com. You HAVE to go there! I pride myself on knowing a bit about everything but found myself so "ignorant" about African pop culture. It is a place to go to really learn about what current African culture is like and it will make you sound so hip when you talk with your African friends!
Another blogger I know started BlackAmericaTalks.net. I met him when he was press secretary for the last mayor of Big City Wanna Be, KY. I did not know how much history he had working in local media around town. He is an aspiring talk show host now and has some very conversational posts. You'll always find a good chat going on over there.
There are only a few bloggers that I know in "real" life. Black bloggers are hard to come by in Central Kentucky.
There is a sister that I met online and we've been in touch that way ever since. I was trying to help another sister find a Mocha Mom's chapter and we found Miss Mwabi on the message boards. I joined her book club, then she started doing some writing for my paper, then she asked me to join the planning committee for a lecture series and on and on and on. Her blog is part pop culture recap and part personal musing and it's all fun.
Recently, she became editor in chief of Jamati.com. You HAVE to go there! I pride myself on knowing a bit about everything but found myself so "ignorant" about African pop culture. It is a place to go to really learn about what current African culture is like and it will make you sound so hip when you talk with your African friends!
Another blogger I know started BlackAmericaTalks.net. I met him when he was press secretary for the last mayor of Big City Wanna Be, KY. I did not know how much history he had working in local media around town. He is an aspiring talk show host now and has some very conversational posts. You'll always find a good chat going on over there.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Don't put all your eggs in one basket...
Well, last month baby girl started reading. We've been rolling right along with Hooked On Phonics until about a week ago. We've had short stories in the workbook and she's getting it. Then, she was ready to read the first book and it was like pulling teeth. She couldn't make the connection. The story was too complex. She knows about 25-30 words but the dammed first book tried to use them all! It did very little rhyming and was getting to wear her down.
Well, yesterday we went to Toys R Us for some roller skates (awww, her first skates, exhale)and since it was empty, we strolled the aisles. I was in the book section and thought I'd look for those corny ass Dr. Seuss books. Well, even Hop on Pop looked to have too many new words so I just kept looking.
Then.....(drumroll here)
I saw these BOB books.
I remember someone mentioned these on one of my Black homeschool group boards. I had already committed to trying HOP so I left it alone. Well, I am proud to say my baby picked up the book and read the first story straight through! I knew she could do it. She was reading all the words on the worksheet pages, but in the book form they switched the game up.
Lesson: Don't "commit" to any curriculum or teaching style. When something doesn't fit, don't force it. Just go another way.
I highly recommend the BOB series in conjunction with HOP. HOP will teach the letters and sounds well. The books are just a bit confusing right out the gate. BUT, if you're taking my advice remember my daughter is only 3 and 6mos. now. (reading for about a month). An older child may have an easier transition.
Well, yesterday we went to Toys R Us for some roller skates (awww, her first skates, exhale)and since it was empty, we strolled the aisles. I was in the book section and thought I'd look for those corny ass Dr. Seuss books. Well, even Hop on Pop looked to have too many new words so I just kept looking.
Then.....(drumroll here)
I saw these BOB books.
I remember someone mentioned these on one of my Black homeschool group boards. I had already committed to trying HOP so I left it alone. Well, I am proud to say my baby picked up the book and read the first story straight through! I knew she could do it. She was reading all the words on the worksheet pages, but in the book form they switched the game up.
Lesson: Don't "commit" to any curriculum or teaching style. When something doesn't fit, don't force it. Just go another way.
I highly recommend the BOB series in conjunction with HOP. HOP will teach the letters and sounds well. The books are just a bit confusing right out the gate. BUT, if you're taking my advice remember my daughter is only 3 and 6mos. now. (reading for about a month). An older child may have an easier transition.
Blogroll do over - Part 3
Everyone loves a good story of triumph. Lovebabz is one in the making. When I found this sister, she was awaiting sentencing on a felony conviction and going through a divorce and raising four children. You'd think she'd have this sorry and pitiful blog thing going on, but not my girl Babz. She's still going strong and moving on. She blogs daily so it's always a good read.
Remember when I got blog dumped? Well, we're back together now and the blog is back open for the public. Don does these great "likes and dislikes" lists that are always the truth. He has a crew of commenter's that are as much fun to read as his posts. Definitely a place to see and be seen.
There are some blogs where I "lurk" but never comment. I admire this sister for being the woman she is. She sews, takes photos, scrapbooks, bakes, cooks. She is a fascinating sista' if ever there was one! Don't go here unless you want to be inspired to do more. Adrienne's raised the homemaking bar up a few inches.
More to come!
p.s. Please don't feel the need to reciprocate if I blogroll you. Really, it's not expected.
Remember when I got blog dumped? Well, we're back together now and the blog is back open for the public. Don does these great "likes and dislikes" lists that are always the truth. He has a crew of commenter's that are as much fun to read as his posts. Definitely a place to see and be seen.
There are some blogs where I "lurk" but never comment. I admire this sister for being the woman she is. She sews, takes photos, scrapbooks, bakes, cooks. She is a fascinating sista' if ever there was one! Don't go here unless you want to be inspired to do more. Adrienne's raised the homemaking bar up a few inches.
More to come!
p.s. Please don't feel the need to reciprocate if I blogroll you. Really, it's not expected.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Blogroll do over - Part 2
I graduated from high school in 1986 and hip hop was just coming to The D. I really remember staying up to listen to the radio after my mom went to bed so I could hear the mix shows around the time that Lodi Dodi (Slick Rick and Doug E. Fresh) came out. That had to be 1984 or so. But ever since, I've been hooked. I got deeper and deeper into it while in college. I saw Big Daddy Kane, Public Enemy, MC Lyte and others right on campus at Central State. I am one who does believe that hip hop is a culture, a mindset.
That's why I love Omi's spot. His movie and book reviews are from my perspective and I can relate. His analysis on current events, are always relate-able and so hip-hop. Of course I don't always agree, but it's always a good time and he's open to whatever you have to say.
Two of my passions are combined and turned into nothin' but love on D-Nice's spot. You all know D-Nice as the DJ from Boogie Down Productions (BDP). He was on the "Self Destruction" project and according to history reports, he helped write Lyte's rhyme. Well he is still a popular DJ and is now a professional photographer and he share's some of his work on his site. I have been into photography since I was in high school and have been dabbling at it ever since and I love to look at other peoples work. He has so many shots of rappers from days gone by and also the up and coming crew. I LOVE THIS SITE.
Both are a safe place to go and not be ashamed to love hip-hop. (Like I'd ever be ashamed...but you get my point).
Still more to come!
That's why I love Omi's spot. His movie and book reviews are from my perspective and I can relate. His analysis on current events, are always relate-able and so hip-hop. Of course I don't always agree, but it's always a good time and he's open to whatever you have to say.
Two of my passions are combined and turned into nothin' but love on D-Nice's spot. You all know D-Nice as the DJ from Boogie Down Productions (BDP). He was on the "Self Destruction" project and according to history reports, he helped write Lyte's rhyme. Well he is still a popular DJ and is now a professional photographer and he share's some of his work on his site. I have been into photography since I was in high school and have been dabbling at it ever since and I love to look at other peoples work. He has so many shots of rappers from days gone by and also the up and coming crew. I LOVE THIS SITE.
Both are a safe place to go and not be ashamed to love hip-hop. (Like I'd ever be ashamed...but you get my point).
Still more to come!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Blogroll do over - part 1
When I want to read people who blog what I would blog if I had the time (or the words left after my paying gig), I go to two spots.
Post Bourgie is so dope its' subtitle is "The Audacity of Dope". They first caught my eye because of my OBSESSION with The Wire. It's one of the only Black blogs that gets deep into it. Then I began poking around and found this crew of writers to be quite dope indeed.
Next is the eloquent, Lord Hannibal who is always on the verge of "The Breaking Point". I love his rantings and musings. Quality, thoughtful writing indeed.
Plenty more to come.
Post Bourgie is so dope its' subtitle is "The Audacity of Dope". They first caught my eye because of my OBSESSION with The Wire. It's one of the only Black blogs that gets deep into it. Then I began poking around and found this crew of writers to be quite dope indeed.
Next is the eloquent, Lord Hannibal who is always on the verge of "The Breaking Point". I love his rantings and musings. Quality, thoughtful writing indeed.
Plenty more to come.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
No blame in my game!
Ahhh...the blame game. You know people who attempt to blame all of their problems away.
Their parents, their school, their neighborhood, their co-workers, their in-laws, the system, the man, other Black people.....everyone but themselves.
It reminds me of the people I talked about in my last post. When you permit others to just be and allow them some room and time to grow, you are giving yourself permission to do the same.
Quit judging and get to work on you. Quit being embarrassed by others actions.
As always, I'm speaking to myself and anyone else who needs to hear.
Their parents, their school, their neighborhood, their co-workers, their in-laws, the system, the man, other Black people.....everyone but themselves.
It reminds me of the people I talked about in my last post. When you permit others to just be and allow them some room and time to grow, you are giving yourself permission to do the same.
Quit judging and get to work on you. Quit being embarrassed by others actions.
As always, I'm speaking to myself and anyone else who needs to hear.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
No shame in my game!
I lived a life filled with shame for years. As a child, I was ashamed by many things that were not in my control. In my twenties, I was ashamed of all that I did not know and was afraid people would label me a fraud for my ignorance. In my early thirties, I was ashamed of being a "sinner" and didn't want anyone to find out all that I was doing that was against my religious teaching.
But somewhere along the way I realized that I could defeat the feeling of shame with hard work. If I work hard to resolve whatever I am ashamed of, I replace the feeling of shame with pride. Pride in my striving to be better. And eventually pride in my accomplishments.
As I read blogs, I find a lot of writers who are claiming to be loving and caring all while attempting to mask being mean people. I read a lot of judgmental and harsh words aimed at those who are "ghetto" or who "keep a nasty house" or who "are too damn fat" or other things that the writer is not in control of.
Don't allow yourself to read thinly disguised harmful and hateful words. Read words that make you laugh, lift you up or otherwise give you what you need.
But above all, don't let anyone make you feel ashamed of your shortcomings. Your shortcomings are a grand opportunity for growth. Which we all need to do.
Be challenged and have no SHAME!
But somewhere along the way I realized that I could defeat the feeling of shame with hard work. If I work hard to resolve whatever I am ashamed of, I replace the feeling of shame with pride. Pride in my striving to be better. And eventually pride in my accomplishments.
As I read blogs, I find a lot of writers who are claiming to be loving and caring all while attempting to mask being mean people. I read a lot of judgmental and harsh words aimed at those who are "ghetto" or who "keep a nasty house" or who "are too damn fat" or other things that the writer is not in control of.
Don't allow yourself to read thinly disguised harmful and hateful words. Read words that make you laugh, lift you up or otherwise give you what you need.
But above all, don't let anyone make you feel ashamed of your shortcomings. Your shortcomings are a grand opportunity for growth. Which we all need to do.
Be challenged and have no SHAME!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Those bastards...
This is the last thing I'm going to say about the Vick situation
...probably.
(Note: I wrote much of this back in August and posted it on my other blog which I don't update much. I put it here since Vick was sentenced to 23 months in prison today.)
The Michael Vick case is not about sports. It’s about the law…and second chances.
I won’t take up any time recapping his animal abuse/dog fighting charges, as they are easy to find. What has been shocking though, is the number of Blacks who have a zero tolerance for athletes breaking the law. Some bloggers and columnists have gone as far as to say that since Vick broke the law off the field, he should lose the “privilege” of going to work as a football player permanently. If he can’t go back to the NFL, then where is it acceptable for him to find employment? Is there work left in America for someone convicted of dog fighting?
We have become a judgmental society. In 1994 California voters approved a “three strikes and you’re out” law that puts those convicted of a similar felony 3 times away under minimum sentencing guidelines. “60 Minutes” profiled a man who was convicted of shoplifting 3 times and he is now serving two 25 year sentences for stealing less than $200 worth of video tapes.
But now in 2007 we have a one-strike law for Vick. Pretty soon, we won't be given a chance at all and we'll be back in the 1940's where Blacks were considered less than human beings, women couldn't vote and other injustices were imposed by the dominating race and gender.
Is Vick a victim of racism? I say yes, but most of you Black bashing African-Americans will say no. No one called Vick the n-word or called his mother’s hair nappy so it can’t be racism right?
By no means am I saying that we don't need law enforcement. Enforce the law. He was been sentenced and will serve time and hopefully come out alive and in reasonably sound mind.
But what I AM saying is that continuing to punish people after they have served thier time HAS TO STOP.
In Kentucky, convicted felons lose most of their civil rights even after being released from serving their time in prison. They can't own a fire arm, some can't enter the military and none of them can vote.
We have laws against "double jeopardy" but none against double punishment.
In The National Urban Leagues publication, "The State of Black America 2007: Portrait of the Black Male" Barack Obama says this in the foreword and it should apply to Vick’s circumstance:
"The crisis of the Black male is our crisis whether we are Black or white, male or female. It is too easy and sometimes too fashionable to demonize Black men...who have strayed. But in so doing, we degrade ourselves, we weaken the bonds of shared interest that are necessary to sustain us. We fail to give people the first chance they deserve, and the second chance that we all sometimes require."
...probably.
(Note: I wrote much of this back in August and posted it on my other blog which I don't update much. I put it here since Vick was sentenced to 23 months in prison today.)
The Michael Vick case is not about sports. It’s about the law…and second chances.
I won’t take up any time recapping his animal abuse/dog fighting charges, as they are easy to find. What has been shocking though, is the number of Blacks who have a zero tolerance for athletes breaking the law. Some bloggers and columnists have gone as far as to say that since Vick broke the law off the field, he should lose the “privilege” of going to work as a football player permanently. If he can’t go back to the NFL, then where is it acceptable for him to find employment? Is there work left in America for someone convicted of dog fighting?
We have become a judgmental society. In 1994 California voters approved a “three strikes and you’re out” law that puts those convicted of a similar felony 3 times away under minimum sentencing guidelines. “60 Minutes” profiled a man who was convicted of shoplifting 3 times and he is now serving two 25 year sentences for stealing less than $200 worth of video tapes.
But now in 2007 we have a one-strike law for Vick. Pretty soon, we won't be given a chance at all and we'll be back in the 1940's where Blacks were considered less than human beings, women couldn't vote and other injustices were imposed by the dominating race and gender.
Is Vick a victim of racism? I say yes, but most of you Black bashing African-Americans will say no. No one called Vick the n-word or called his mother’s hair nappy so it can’t be racism right?
By no means am I saying that we don't need law enforcement. Enforce the law. He was been sentenced and will serve time and hopefully come out alive and in reasonably sound mind.
But what I AM saying is that continuing to punish people after they have served thier time HAS TO STOP.
In Kentucky, convicted felons lose most of their civil rights even after being released from serving their time in prison. They can't own a fire arm, some can't enter the military and none of them can vote.
We have laws against "double jeopardy" but none against double punishment.
In The National Urban Leagues publication, "The State of Black America 2007: Portrait of the Black Male" Barack Obama says this in the foreword and it should apply to Vick’s circumstance:
"The crisis of the Black male is our crisis whether we are Black or white, male or female. It is too easy and sometimes too fashionable to demonize Black men...who have strayed. But in so doing, we degrade ourselves, we weaken the bonds of shared interest that are necessary to sustain us. We fail to give people the first chance they deserve, and the second chance that we all sometimes require."
Remember the little things....
What could be a romantic season, with fireplaces blazing and sexy holiday songs by the Temptations playing, is often stressful for marriages. Even those who don't celebrate Christmas for religious reasons can find it stressful, with family visits and what has become obligatory gift exchanges.
Remember YOUR reason for the season and don't find yourself divorced by King Day.
Remember to take some time to do the little things that can make your spouse feel loved and show them that you appreciate them.
Some suggestions:
1. Give them a pedicure.
2. If you are NOT the regular cook, ask if there is a simple meal you can prepare.
3. Do an extra chore around the house.
4. If you have children, take them out or sit and watch a long movie with them while the other takes a nap.
5. Watch a DVD together.
6. Have a family dance party with some of your favorite tunes.
These are things we did this weekend and today, with a desk full of work, I don't feel so bad. After a WONDERFUL weekend like that, I can't complain!
Remember YOUR reason for the season and don't find yourself divorced by King Day.
Remember to take some time to do the little things that can make your spouse feel loved and show them that you appreciate them.
Some suggestions:
1. Give them a pedicure.
2. If you are NOT the regular cook, ask if there is a simple meal you can prepare.
3. Do an extra chore around the house.
4. If you have children, take them out or sit and watch a long movie with them while the other takes a nap.
5. Watch a DVD together.
6. Have a family dance party with some of your favorite tunes.
These are things we did this weekend and today, with a desk full of work, I don't feel so bad. After a WONDERFUL weekend like that, I can't complain!
Saturday, December 8, 2007
For those considering it...some more data
FDA: 28 Miscarriages No Reason to Reexamine Gardasil
By Fred Lucas
CNSNews.com Staff Writer
December 06, 2007
(CNSNews.com) - Since June 2006, when the HPV vaccine Gardasil was approved by the Food and Drug Administration, there have been 28 reported cases in which pregnant women miscarried after receiving the vaccine.
A total of 3,461 adverse reactions, including eight deaths, were reported to the government through the VAERS system since the FDA approved the drug.
Read entire story here...
By Fred Lucas
CNSNews.com Staff Writer
December 06, 2007
(CNSNews.com) - Since June 2006, when the HPV vaccine Gardasil was approved by the Food and Drug Administration, there have been 28 reported cases in which pregnant women miscarried after receiving the vaccine.
A total of 3,461 adverse reactions, including eight deaths, were reported to the government through the VAERS system since the FDA approved the drug.
Read entire story here...
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
World AIDS Day December 1
Just a reminder:
Be aware. Get tested. Know your status.
Black Aids Day is in February but I thought I'd remind everyone that you better keep it on your mind.
With holiday parties and extra drinking among "grown folks" you may find yourself presented with some "options". You better opt for the safe route, whatever you feel that is.
Know your partner WELL, and know their HIV status. Be safe people.
I know several people who have died from this and some who are living with it and no one I've known would wish it on their worst enemy.
I wish I could say that this is message for the single people, but some of you who are married need to get tested too. And you know who you are! You have that sneaking suspicion that your mate is cheating. You may not have caught or confronted them, but getting tested isn't a lack of trust. It's a safeguard. You'd rather know now than to get kicked to the curb 3 years from now by a cheater and then on a routine visit to the doctor find out you are positive. If you've got HIV, you're going to know it sooner or later. TRUST ME, you want to know sooner!
BE SAFE and GET TESTED OFTEN! KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!
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