Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I don't keep house anymore


This is what a woman said to me the other day. She says that she got it from a retired woman who told her to come pick something up from her door. She didn't let her in because she "doesn't keep house" and was embarrassed to let anyone in.

The woman who told me this said that she keeps a clear walking path but the rest is usually a mess.

We got on this topic because she asked what I would do with "all that free time" with my husband and daughter gone to see relatives for several weeks. I mentioned that I wanted to spend a day in each room really cleaning and organizing so I'd be able to straighten up quicker on a daily basis. And she said, "just leave it."

I don't set a tidy standard for my friends mainly because I am usually running a bit below the one I set for myself. But I think that if your house is too messy to allow visitors you need to evaluate how you think of yourself. I don't clean for others. I clean for me and my enjoyment and peace of mind. And if you can stand a mess that is too much for others then..........

Any thoughts?

p.s. That is a generic photo and not my kitchen!

Great minds think alike

After I posted my thoughts on The Cos, one of my friends sent me his take on it. If you haven't heard of Boyce you should check him out. He is an up and coming scholar who writes provocative and critical essays on what's going on. He is often called "The peoples scholar".

Five Reasons Black People Don’t Listen to Bill.Cosby

www.boycewatkins.com
www.yourblackworld.com


My questions for Dr. Huxtable, as he engages in his ego-maniacal "reign of terror", completed in celebration of his latest cure for 400 years worth of social ills would be listed below. Of course, Bill would never have a conversation with any scholar with the ability to rip his ideas apart. His only response (on the "O" Show, with no dissenters present) is "My critics are all crazy". Sounds like a doctor to me....Here are my questions for "The Cos":


1) Why does Bill only have the courage to blame black people for racial inequality? The baby of racial inequality has both a mother and a father. Sorry Bill, you can’t just beat up on the group that can’t fight you back. You have to be a bigger man than that.

2) Bill: Ask yourself this question: Why does a man considered to be “America’s dad”, only feel comfortable addressing the white community when you are telling jokes or dogging your own people? Perhaps that is the only time they will allow you to speak. What better time to address white America for their role in the creation of racial inequality, than during trips to “Meet the Press”? Bill, do you think more whites than blacks watch that show? Why not talk to the people who are watching?

3) If Bill were to address white America and its institutions as harshly as he addresses blacks, how fast would he be UNINVITED to Meet The Press? Dr. Huxtable would suddenly be as out of favor as OJ Simpson. Even the strongest puppy doesn’t bite the hand that feeds him, as Bill has spent many decades eating from the hands of major corporations and media conglomerates who helped create the very problems he is upset about. Like many other "mainstream" African-Americans, Cosby knows full well that any perceived assault on American institutions would lead him to be black-balled from the predominantly white media outlets and right-wing organizations that are cheering him on today.

4) You say that you don’t talk to white America because they won’t listen to your comments? Well guess what Bill, BLACK PEOPLE don’t listen EITHER. Why not speak in a way that challenges both individual behavior and institutional infrastructure? The same way corporations change their business behavior based on IRS rules, individuals change their behavior based on opportunities available, the quality of the school systems, etc. You can't talk about the individual's choices without talking about the individual's options. Bill and O's ridiculously simple-minded analyses of complex social problems is reflective of the growing gap between the rich and poor in the black community. THEY DO NOT REPRESENT ALL BLACK PEOPLE, especially the poor, whom they spend no time listening to. They only feel the need to preach.

5) It’s always easiest to attack poor, single black mothers, because they are not invited onto talk shows to defend themselves. Cosby has learned that verbally abusing women and children is an easy way to feel strong and self-righteous. Even among black people, how often has he mentioned BET and his buddy Bob Johnson for their role in creating a generation of hoochie-mamas and wannabe thugs? Oh, I forgot, it’s all their parents’ faults, even though many of them are working 12 hours a day at minimum wage, something that Cosby knows little about. Don't you think that if it were that easy to create such a perfect and wonderful life, people would already be doing it? Perhaps someone has persuaded Cosby that the perceived cultural inferiority of black people is quite real, for this is the ONLY message he communicates in his constant ranting to mainstream media.

Bill, in order to solve a problem, mathematics says that you must work on both sides of the equation. Why you are afraid to challenge America’s institutions, but boldly go after black mothers and children is beyond me. It is not productive to walk in the middle of a fight and tell one of the kids that he is wrong, while allowing the other kid to go off and play. But then again, that’s the way the black kids are always treated in our school systems, as we learned in the Jena 6 case.

One can’'t be sure who is worse: Bill, who engages in the non-sensical and unproductive act of complaining about black people in front of predominantly white audiences, or the scientist James Watson, who said that he can prove that black people are genetically inferior to whites. What is scary is that Watson would listen to the words of Cosby and agree with him 100%....did you notice that Bill O'Reilly likes Bill Cosby too?

When a proven racist agrees 100% with what you are saying about your own people, perhaps that should give you a moment of pause. But it doesn't appear that Cosby is pausing....he spends too much time flapping his gums. As a professor, I have a saying "When you are 100% teacher and 0% student, you are 100% idiot." I wish he were still telling those corny jokes.


Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of “What if George Bush were a Black Man?” He makes regular appearances in national media, including CNN, ESPN, CBS and NBC. For more information, please visit www.boycewatkins.com.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Judge not, lest....


Who made The Coz an expert on Black culture and all that is righteous? When he began his tirade in 2004, he opened the flood gates for people to start criticizing Black youth and poor Black people and their lifestyles. He began using stereotypes to prove that we needed to "get it together".

I was going to just let him do his thing. Though I didn't agree with his assumptions and tactics, I thought I could just let him have his opinion.

But then...
I caught him on Auntie O's show. Auntie O had a young man on the show who saw his mother shot in the face by her boyfriend. He was then raised by his grandmother and made it to college and will be the first in his family to graduate. Auntie O was just "amazed" that he didn't join a gang or sell drugs and loved the fact that he is not bitter about life. Then the Coz asks him what does he think about those who fell victim to the streets.

OK, now I see. The Coz is judgmental and is now training up some more judgmental do nothing talkers. He may drop some cash here and there, but where is he working with misguided teens and young mothers on a regular basis?

When did he give up comedy and become a sociologist? Didn't he go to school for education? I'm tired of him.

Some people grow wiser as they grow older, some just get old.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Do it for the ones you love...


I am admittedly lax about doing the monthly breast exam. But I'm going to do better. I have just gotten word that another woman I know has this scary disease. Though I know many survivors, they spent a lot of time, money and energy fighting this senseless illness.

Just a reminder to you all. If you know of a woman going through treatment for cancer, ask around to see if anyone is organizing assistance like meals and rides to appointments and give them a hand. If no one is doing it, you do it! The woman will rest better knowing her family is fed and the family will have more time to spend loving on the survivor.

I'm just feeling like life is too short. Enjoy it and take care of yourself.

My new BFF


I was flipping channels trying to get to The Contender but ran across Life in the Fab Lane and am so obsessed with Kimora now. There is something I like about her. I even think I'm going to read her book.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Right now...

I'm feeling good.
Had a productive work day and even managed to get in some "idiot box" time. I watched that damned Chef Gordon do a "helluva" makeover on a restaurant. But I managed to get some inspiration from his last few words. He basically told the restaurant owner (who was about to shut down) that now that he was back on track, he had to transition from just a chef to a restaurateur.

I am right there with my business. I have to go from managing editor and talk show host to CEO. Though I'm doing that, I don't have the "mentality". I work "with" my staff and don't really allow myself the space to move the business forward. I think that everyone feels like they have input, but they don't all stay awake at night strategizing our next move like me and then I'm swayed by their "gut reaction" or impulsive suggestion.

I have to take charge. This is my life and my business. This is the business that I am building for generations to come so I have to set a strong foundation and no better time than the crucial year 6. 80% of small businesses fail in the first 5 years and we are in the 4th quarter of a hellacious year 5.

I'm ready to make that move and now I realize that that was what all the crying has been for. I've been going through a birthing process and I'm half way through labor, without the pain medication (drugs/alcohol). It's rough but I'll make it and we'll be a happier family for it.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Jessica Care Moore and Missing "The D"

I LOVE DETROIT! And have never met a person from The D that I didn't love. The poet, writer, business woman, publisher, mother, wife Jessica Care Moore was here in Big City Wanna Be for the weekend and she is SO Detroit. She even has a "D" tatted on her arm. (I want one so bad).

Jessica made me have a new appreciation for poetry. I usually don't want to do all the thinking that goes along with poetry (symbolism, metaphors, etc.)She just breaks it down.


As I watched her juggle the hectic schedule that "we"/African Girl planned for her with a one year old in tow, I saw myself. Someone who has a plan that includes self-fulfillment and motherhood and financial gains. She performed and cared for her son and handled her publishing business and socialized with guests at dinners and receptions.

She is phenomenal and my sister and lovely and inspiring and intelligent and a Black woman.


Here's a bonus video if you want some more Jessica (sorry Ms. J, I know you didn't approve these clips on the 'tube but it does the job :o)

How I'm feeling

I am glad that I have discovered blogging.
I enjoy going in and out of other peoples worlds.
Taking a moment to leave my space and hopefully find a better place.

I have always considered myself a really happy and upbeat person, but I'm realizing that I really go through some funky periods. Don't let me depress you...I'll be funny and happy again soon.

I really had a great weekend but the debil is trying to make me forget. I'll blog about it, maybe the good times will return.